Am I alive?

[Moonlight Princess]

My thoughts are all confused about this. So many days and memories wasted. I'm convinced that other people know I'm dead. Why do they keep talking to me when they know I'm dead? Why do they expect so much of me?

[Pi.R^2]

You are alive.

You sent me a text today (which I rudely have not responded to yet but I will reply this evening) and that is a skill that only alive people have.

It sounds like you might be struggling with some level of dissociation, can you try something grounding; a strong smell or taste perhaps?

You are not dead.

[one_step_closer]

How are you doing? I understand this feeling well, it can be so confusing and feelings of dissociation tend to reinforce the thoughts that you're not real. I try to tell myself to act as if I am real 'just in case' and do things that a real person would do. I'm sure you've been through this before and I'm sure things will begin to come together again hopefully soon. Take care.

[Moonlight Princess]

I don't think I can. I've been dead for a long time now. I could be someone else maybe and forget all emotions. I need that. I can't cope otherwise.

[tamobhuuta]

What does this idea feel like?

Can you do anything to test whether you're dead? So, if you were dead, would you be able to communicate here and in real life? If you (accidentally!!!) hurt yourself, would you feel physical pain? Would you be able to eat and drink? Take deep breaths in and out, would you be able to feel that if you were dead?

[Moonlight Princess]

Thank you all for your wise replies. So you're right I can't be physically dead. I feel more connected after counselling so maybe it's a disconnection thing?

[one_step_closer]

What is it you feel disconnected from? Yourself, the world around you, both, something else? Do you have much face to face contact with people?

[Pi.R^2]

I’m glad you feel more connected after counselling; do you have regular counselling? Do you find a similar effect after seeing/interacting with other people?