-hugs back and accepts the plushie and smiles- thanks
My counseling appointment was today. I can tell my counselor wants me in a hospital, but I can't be in one. Can't afford it, no insurance. I don't get to see her again for like a month.
And my gma isn't mad. I wrote her a letter telling her my story and what I was diagnosed with and stuff...told her I struggle with cutting and have attempted taking my own life. I told her that because I wanted to let her know that I was glad I got to meet her. If I had waited one more day before I sent that letter, I wouldn't have sent it. She just worries about me and stuff.
No one is really mad at me, actually. There's a girl I see and hear that controls me. She is the reason I dissociate. She makes me do things I don't want to do, like cut and stuff. She has been trying to get me to commit suicide a lot lately. She gives me options, you see...she says I have to either cut myself or die. I do want to die, but I don't want to yet because of the holidays and stuff. I don't know, though, she's been growing stronger. I just...I don't know anymore...
-squeezes the plushie- whats going on with you? -looks up at you from the corner-
hmmm where to start... I didn't think your gma was ad I just wanted that portion of your post in the proper order in my head lol sometimes stuff comes out differently than I want it to or makes less sense outside my head :) seems this time two subjects got stuck together... I'm glad you were honest with your gma and can talk to her *hugs*
as for the other portion, I was figuring that the girl causing you to dissociate my have her own motivations or emotions in regards to causing you to si or dissociate in general. wondered if maybe communication might help some. Does that make more sense?
*hugs everyone* How is everybody this morning/evening?
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
I think I'll take a bath. Just a quick one. I just think I'll get clean now or I'll not bath tonight . Um just on a side note does anyone know if UK banks are open on Saturdays? I don't know hmmm
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
*Hugs Crimson* I'm Feeling low , I don't know what to do about it , I want to be asleep *sigh* How are you in your timezone Crimson?
Wishing I was still in bed asleep... *makes tea for Mark*
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
I had a major panic attack last night and wound up SI-ing... not badly... but still I was doing so well, about 2 months with nothing and then... *sigh*
I woke up with a fever this morning too. So unless i feel better i won't even get to celebrate the end of finals...
and the hits just keep on coming.
sorry i'm all whiny and didn't do individuals... i'll catch up later tonight after my test is over.
<3
forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past - buddy wakefield
*Hugs Laura* I'm sorry you had a panic attack , Could you think of your S.I. as a blip in an otherwise S.I. free 2 months? 2 Months is really great :) I hope your fever go's away soon Laura Hun . GOOD LUCK with your test
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
hugs Laura* Mark's right, hun, it's just a slip up. We all have them. You made it 2 months! *throws confetti* Hope your fever goes away and you do well on your test.
*hugs Mark*
*hugs Sarah* Now there's an idea... lets nap in our ward beds!
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
*waves back to Kitty*
Mark - I PMed you about the book, Steven Levenkron wrote it, and was recommended by my therapist for my friend to read. I haven't read it and also struggle to finish books, I have 4 by my bed lol.
Laura, 2 months is amazing, and you've just done it which means you can do it again. Well done babe, I'm very proud [and a little jealous!]
Hope Owen got to sleep and that we see Julie here again in the next day or so too :)
All your talk of snow, its raining heavily wih thunder and 26 degrees celcius here today, 90% humidity, gross!
Our Christmas Day is normally held in the sun, around a pool having a barbeque. Quite different on this side of the world that's for sure.
Hugs for you all, try have a good day or sleep wherever you are
JK
x
Hey Mark, I'm OK today, my friend is coming up from Christchurch [about 1hr20 flight away] for a few days so I'm off to pick her up soon. She keeps me out of trouble :)
I want to have a sunny warm Christmas. I swear I need to migrate around the globe to stay in summer conditions.
Anyway, Hi JK (I don't believe we've met) I'm Sarah :)
My sister just got home, and brought a freind over unannounced, she'd been in town till 6pm, even though its the last Friday out before Christmas and thus Mad Friday... Its so dangerous out and she's 14, but mum was okay with it. Now mums ripping into me because I'd rather believe acedemic researchers than the TV and media about climate change and the student fees... I hate it here.
The Wardies are my Family. They'll always hold a special place in my heart. *~Plumeria Sister~*
I was doing so well, about 2 months with nothing and then... *sigh*
