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Old 04-09-2018, 03:59 AM   #1
colouringrainbows
 
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I put my thread in this catorgory but I know this is not the case but I know people will automatically say it is a psychosis problem. But I put it here so I can get advice from other people who are in the same situation as me & has ways to prove I am not psychotic.

So since mid 2018 I have felt & believed very strongly that I am not the normal person. I feel like I have special powers & I can make things happen & also I canít be harmed as I am unique. Some examples- whilst preparing for our car MOT my partner showed me a video of a car with illegal & legal tyres & he told me what happens when you do a emergency stop with illegal tyres & I believe myself that if I had illegal tyres I wouldnít have an accident & I would stop just as well as a car with legal tyres I believe I am special & different & that illegal tyres wonít cause me a accident like it would to a regular person.

I have powers which means I can think of something & I have the powers to make it happen- all my past hospital appts have been pointless & my partner said at my last appointment this will be the same & I said in my head that today will be different, the appt will be different & I said in my head the appt will be a positive & a helpful appt for the first time & my powers made it come true. So if someone says something if I think the opposite to what they said then the (opposite) happens but if I agree with that someone then the opposite doesnít happen.

You see pictures of the weather being bad & then trees falling down on houses, cars & killing people & people crashing into trees or having car accidents, I know cos I can feel it in my bones that is how much I am sure it is the truth, that if a large tree landed on me or I crashed into another car severely or a tree, it wouldnít kill me, I wouldnít be hurt. Why you ask? Cos I am special. I wasnít born a real human, I was a baby who was born with special powers & a protective body that I wouldnít be harmed or die. The amount of times my consultant has said with my severe physical health that they donít know how I am still alive with my condition & how I get through bad infections, I know itís cos I am not the normal baby/human. I was born differently & put into this world as a special & a one of person who is not a whole human but something else! I not sure what but I am not the usual/regular human.

I am not the normal human.

I went to the seaside the other week & on the journey there I had a video in my head of something dreadful happening & I could feel it 100% that something bad was gonna happen & then the day after i went I saw on the news about a car driving into a restaurant. My super powers made this happen.

Anything I think, my special powers make it happen. If someone said something to me & I think the opposite then the opposite would happen but if I agreed with that person then what I agreed with would happen & my powers wouldnít make the opposite happen.

So in my life, I have some control over my powers so if I want something to happen then I think the opposite to what I want & then it happens, if I think what I want to happen then it doesnít happen.

Also cos of my special powers I have a connection/see/talk to my own angel. I am aware no one else sees her but that is cos of my special powers & how I am not full human & was a special baby born with powers & a protective body hence why I never die when I am seriously ill, why I am still alive despite my consultant baffled why I am alive.

I am under palliative care now & people tell me I have a short life span & the amount of times I been told a simple cold can kill me. I know 100% my protective cover on my body will stop this from happening & I will never die, I wont ever die like not even when I am old age, I am not a real human so I wonít die at 80/90 years old, I donít need to be on palliative care cos I wonít die. I only go to the hospice so I have time on my own away my family, I donít go cos I agree I am gonna have a short life span. I wonít ever die. Like ever!

There are other examples why my powers make things happen & they prove to me that my powers are real!

So my point is I havenít told anyone cos I know they will automatically think I am having another psychotic episode & I am 100% not. This is really happening, this is really true, I can feel it 100% in my bones, I know 100% I am not a regular person & I was born with special powers, a bit like Matilda the movie. So cos I am so worried that if I tell someone they are gonna say your are psychotic & that is not the case & no one will believe me when I will try & explain how true this is so I havenít told anyone. I have a really nice councellor & I want to tell her this cos i want her to know about my powers etc so she understands why things happen in my life & how my powers, protective armour has helped & about my angel so she is aware of her. I donít want to hide it anymore as well but I am worried that she is gonna say itís not real. But I canít emphasise how true this is & that it is really happening & it is not psychosis at all. But cos I have had a psychotic episode in the past, theyíre not gonna believe me.

I also canít tell my family cos then they will think psychosis again & I canít tell any other professionals in my life for the same reasons cos they will all get concerned & I will be seen as mentally unwell again, when I am 100% not, this is real, this is really happening, this is not psychosis, this is real life stuff. But if the MH services find out then they will be in my life again & if my family find out then they will be worried & it will put extra pressure on my marriage like it did last time, I will be made to lie again like I did last time cos my partner told me too, I canít tell any professionals in my life cos I donít want them to think I am psychotic & unwell cos that is not the case at all. But I am hoping my new councellor is different.

So I wanted some advice how can I tell my councellor about my special powers without her thinking I am psychotic? How can I get her to believe me when I tell her I am not psychotic & that I am just half human, half something else & I was born with special powers & protective body so I wonít ever be harmed in situations that a regular person would?

Also does anyone ever feel like theyíre in a tv show a bit like the Truman show? I have felt like this for about a year, I did tell the MH services this last year but I told them after a while I didnít feel like that anymore cos I wanted them out of my life & so I kept it a secret. But wondering if anyone else ever felt like this?

Any advice please?

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Old 11-09-2018, 07:47 PM   #2
Pi.R^2
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Why is it important for you that others believe you and know about these powers that you feel you have? And whilst I know that this is definitely what you believe, are you able to see where people are coming from when they don't agree with you about these powers?

I think it's worth trying to explain this to your counsellor if you feel like it's something you want her to know.



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


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Old 12-09-2018, 01:18 AM   #3
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What you described relates a lot to myself during psychosis. I become (overly) spiritual during these times. Its not always a bad thing so long as its not hurting yourself or others. Lets face it.. how many people walking around are living in a created imaginary facade (code switching) according to how they want to portray themselves to others at any given moment (works persona - social persona); I suspect more than we might realize.

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