Contains sexual abuse - So I have a question....I think I've been lying to everyone.
Well, when I was 15 I kinda messed around with a guy... (this isn't the abusive part)
The following content has been hidden - Reason : graphic sexual discription
So his penis didn't actually go inside me, we had issues cause I was too tight, and it just wouldn't go in. So like he just kinda pressed up against me never actually went in.
Do you guys think this counts as loosing my virginity?
I know it probably doesn't seem like it matters, but the thing is, like, the next time I had sex was when I was 17 and I was raped, and I really don't want that to be the time I lost my virginity.
So I've been telling everyone and myself that I lost my virginity at 15..
Last edited by Rainbow Colors : 19-06-2013 at 01:23 PM.
Reason: My computer spazzed and posted this before I finished.
Whatever it is, you can get through it. I promise.
I think the idea of 'virginity' can be different for everyone. I, for example, don't think I lost my virginity until I had sex for the first time that I consented - even though I was raped before this.
I think it's up to you whether you count this as losing your virginity. If you look at it technically and if your hymen (spelling?) didn't break then no, you haven't lost it...however it can break at any point in your life say from a cycling accident or something...my friend's broke this way. So, if that means losing your vaginity she did at fourteen....
Either way it's a personal belief that counts.
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I have been having a lot of issues concerning my virginity- being gay has made it slight more complicated as lesbian sex isn't considered 'penetration' so it all goes on technicality. I was attacked at 16 and I always struggle with the question when did you loose your virginity? As what he did would follow more of the technical definition compared to what would happen between two women.
I have asked my CPN and talked to friends about it and people seem to agree that only you can CHOOSE to give your virginity- as physically you can do things at any age that change physically change that part of you- i.e horse riding, using a tampon etc- so psychologically your virginity is yours to give,
so if you feel that time at 15 was important for you and felt right then that was it- or if you still, even after the rape, have not found anybody you have had sex with then I think its ok to count yourself as a virgin still.
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Like others have said, virginity is something you choose to give away. If you feel most comfortable telling people that you lost your virginity at 15, then there's nothing wrong with that at all.
Technically, I lost my virginity when I was raped at 6 if you go by a physical definition but I don't think many people do these days. It's when you feel like you wanted fully penetrative, so I would say you didn't loose it at 17 when you were raped, or at 15 if that makes sense?
I don't think you've been lying though. If you're unsure as to when, then it's not a lie, it's just the best answer you have at the time.
I, like others who've posted, would say, at 15 because at 15, you were willing...
to me virginity is more about losing the.... pre-sex "innocence".
Like, when you're 10, most of us probably didnt think all that much about sex in general...
I was S.A at the age of 4 (by a family "friend"... then again at 14 (by a bf), but do I consider myself to have lost my virginity at either of those times in my life? no, because at those times I had no interest, or knowledge of sex as such... let alone the urges to go ahead with it.
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I disagree with everyone here, sorry. But losing your virginity involves the breaking of your hymen, since it didn't happen at 15 and 17 was the next encounter.
