Lst night, my mam said "what are those cuts on your legs?"
i said " dunno"
she said "do you self harm?
i said "no" .. blatent lie. Shes just ****ing seen them! She knows now. Why couldnt have been anyone else?
She didnt even take a stress, which i something she normally does. I think shes given up on me. I feel so bad cos she doesnt need this while shes 36 weeks pregant and we've got proper money issues.
Im so ****in stupid anyways, its my own fault i SI, its my fault anyways so i dont even know why im complaining.
It might seem hard to believe, but most people who don't self harm, don't connect scars with self harm. It's mostly not on the radar.
And actually, most of the time that's mostly how I handle seeing someone who's scars would lead me to believe that they hurt themselves. Although, I do tell them that they know where to find me if they need to talk or need help finding someone to talk to.
It might seem hard to believe, but most people who don't self harm, don't connect scars with self harm. It's mostly not on the radar.
It's true. Even if you think that it's really obvious the thought wouldn't occur to most people.
You're not stupid, and you shouldn't feel bad. You have your own problems to deal with too. And we are always here to help and support you.
Take care.
Xx
You shouldn't feel bad, you have problems to deal with yourself and it's not like you're purposely trying to upset her or stress her out so you reall shouldn't feel bad.
I'm sure she hasn't given up on you, she probably just doesn't know what to say to help so thinks it's better not to ask about it anymore.
I once SI'd whilst I was away at a festival, and when I came back my mum spotted my scars and asked me what they were. I explained it away as a violent mosh-pit incident involving me and some guy's really long spiky arm band. She believed me and since then she's refused to even consider the possibility I could ever SI or be depressed.
I think it (denial of SI) is a maternal defence mechanism, because it really can't be good for a mother to realise that her offspring is having, hmm... How do I put this? To realise her children are having "problems"? Ahem, probably the wrong word. Basically, it can't be nice for a mother to find out her son or daughter is voluntarily causing themselves harm, so they automatically think "no, that can't be true" and refuse to comprehend the idea.
I'm not sure what advice to give to you, or even if my advice is actually worth anything, but either way I'd try not to worry too much about it. It's easier said than done, I know, but if you don't get all frantic and het up about it, neither will your mum, and the situation will resolve itself in due course.
"Though, the sick wished not to part with their disease,
As if it made them feel alive"
Don't disrespect my family... -jen- is my little jelly bean.
that happened to me last week, i was at my nans and she asked what they were on my arms and i said nothing, but she keeps asking why but i can't say its mainly her because she'll get reallly pissy and stuff. she SI when she was my age and was sectioned and lived in a hospitol for abit and she keeps asking if i need to, it really isn't helping.
maybe she don't want to make it worse and knows talking about it to her could make it worse.
its not your fault you do it, its a way of coping ang your obv upset when you do it, and you aint stupid.
take care xxxx
i'll miss the playgrounds, and the animals, and
digging up warms
sending big hugs to you anyways
the number of times my mum has seen cuts/scars and i've blatantly lied about what they are, how shes even commented 'you look like you've been self harming' and she still hasn't a clue, or at least never makes anymore out of it
its tough to know how to respond
take care of yourself
In loving memory of Alison.... I'll never know what it was like to be her. But i know what it's like to wanna die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try and kill the the thing on the inside" Girl Interrupted
