Hi,
Since November, someone who I know, has been abusing me. She used to be a friend of mine and we hadn't seen each other for a long time, so she asked if we could meet up so I said yes but she said could we meet up at mine instead of hers so I said yes thinking it would be fun and we would talk to each other about how we've been and do some painting as we both loved being creative.
The day she came, my parents were out and my brother was also out. When she came we were talking about how we've been and then she said why don't we go to your room so I said ok thinking that she just wants to see what it looks like as she hasn't been to my house for ages. She closed the bedroom door (luckily no lock) so I tried to open it as I get claustrophobic but she stopped me and held on to me. Then she started touching me and other things happened (things I dont want to go into detail) she left before my parents and brother came but before she left she said don't tell anyone or otherwise you'll wish you weren't alive.
She's been sending sexual text messages to me ever since and a few weeks ago she was at the same station as me, she was already there and was waiting by the top of the stairs but out of view so I didn't know that she was there. When I got up the stairs she grabbed my hand which left some marks there but she pretended that she was just holding hands with me when a station staff passed by. She eventually let go of me once the platform was getting busier.
Since then, I have been having panic attacks everyday and when anyone touches me e.g. Hugs me, holds my hand etc I end up having a panic attack. I've been having flashbacks at night and find it really difficult to sleep in my room.
I feel that my body is dirty and I hate it because of what she did and have started self harming again since November. No one knows about what happened because I'm too scared to tell.
From Meera
