I moved to London in september. I found my flatmate through a website, so we were strangers when I moved in. We get on, but is never home and we have nothing in common, so I pretty much spend my time there alone or in silence.
The fact that I am so lonely, combined with stress of university, made me relapse and I felt increasingly depressed, suicidal and was self harming. I saw my CMHT a couple of times and have also been assessed by the psychiatrist. They agreed with my decision to move back in with my mum and commute to uni. My care co-ordinator urged me to do this as soon as possible.
I emailed the letting agency yesterday and said that due to medical reasons my doctor has advised me to move back home for treatment and so I am moving out immediately. They did not respond to me and instead rang my flatmate, leaving her a message to ring them urgently about her tennancy.
She spoke to me on facebook last night asking what was going on. I said that I was annoyed the letting agency had gone behind my back, and that I was going to tell her face to face, but that I was moving back home for medical reasons.
She got mad. She said that because we are co-tenants it will fall to her to pay my half of the rent if I move out. I had no idea about that because it doesn't say so in the contract and I was never told what happens if I were to break the contract.
She said why couldn't I keep living there and just get the train back here to see the doctors? She basically said thanks for nothing.
I got hysterical, started cutting and was planning on killing myself today because I could see no way out of this situation. This morning I went to the CMHT as a last resort. Long story short I'm now under the home treatment team after nearly being admitted to hospital.
They told me to focus on myself. I need to move back home, they all agree, and they said that I need to do it regardless of what happens to my flatmate, and to not feel guilty over it.
Am I a horrible person if I do that?
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I don't think you're a horrible person for doing that. Your health is more important and if everyone else agrees that moving back home would be better for your health then that's what you should do if it's going to help you to start feeling better.
At least you've made an effort to let your flatmate know, rather than just going without saying anything to her and leaving everything up to her
things would just get worse for you if you stayed there, it sounds like you were feeling very isolated, and thats never good.
you are not responsible for your flatmate, and should look after yourself first, its ok to be a little selfish sometimes, especially when it comes to your health.
xxx
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
However when you move in somewhere you need to look at the legalities of what happens in a situation where you cant fulfil the tenancy. Who owns the flat? Im assuming if it an agency not the person who is living there?
Unfortunately you may be liable for the full rent payment yourself depending on what your contract says, but you should probably go to CAB to get advice on that.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
You need to look after yourself, but you may also have responsibilities to take care of with regards to the flat. Depending on the tenancy agreement you may be liable to pay the rent until such time as you can find someone else to take over the room, but this should be detailed in your contract.
Nothing is in the contract about that. I've looked so many times. And I'll be living at home for the forseeable future, not renting anywhere else.
Well the contract says I am bound for six months to live there, so I am breaking that, but it doesn't list the penalties for doing so and no-one from the agency is getting back to me.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Nothing is in the contract about that. I've looked so many times. And I'll be living at home for the forseeable future, not renting anywhere else.
Well the contract says I am bound for six months to live there, so I am breaking that, but it doesn't list the penalties for doing so and no-one from the agency is getting back to me.
Housing/rental agreements are a minefield, and are pretty much entirely dependent on the contract. If you are co-tenants (as in you signed for the whole flat rather than for one room in the flat) then the rent would probably fall to the flatmate.
However, my knowledge of this is pretty sparse. I'd suggest contacting Shelter and/or your local CAB to see what they say. Take along the contract otherwise there is little they can really help with.
Yes. We are co-tenants. I didn't know what that meant. Oh god. I suck.
Not knowing the terminology of housing contracts hardly means you suck. I really do suggest you see/contact someone about this just to double check where you stand.
As said you need to find out exactly where you stand in regards to the contract and they will be able to help you.
At the moment you could try and help your flatmate find someone else by advertising the room online and trying to find someone to take it over asap.
Really co-tenanccys shouldn't be used in a student situation, they should only be used in couples and marriages, as the landlord can go after any party if the other does not pay the rent.
Last edited by Bleeding Angel : 16-11-2011 at 05:54 PM.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
You are absolutely NOT a horrible person. If your flatmate knew the extent of the medical problems and just how bad you were feeling, I'm sure she would understand. You need to take care of yourself first, I hope you manage to get things sorted.
I'm proud of you for looking after yourself, I really am. Even though this situation is tough you're doing the very best thing. If you were this upset today then it would only get worse and put your life in danger, and that would be a much worse outcome. I am glad the treating team are supportive of this, too.
I went to the letting agency today with my dad. She said she did not email me back because she "did not know what to say". The fact remains she still went behind my back by emailing my flatmate.
From what she told us, I am bound by the contract until March. I either have to continue paying rent until then, or my flatmate must pay it all herself. Either way, they want the money. The only way I can get out of it is if my flatmate finds someone to take my room and my share of the rent. I don't know how likely that is considering it is close to christmas, and the landlords might say no to that.
I moved some of my stuff back home today.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Not knowing the terminology of housing contracts hardly means you suck.
^agreed. All I did with my contract was correct the grammar, I didn't actually read it properly. I decided since I'm the baby of the group, the rest of them can sort it out :P
Sorry to hear you've had such a grim time having moved out, and moving back home sounds like it's definitely the wisest thing to do. And you're by no means a horrible person. Not at all.
If the worst comes to the worst, will you be able to pay the rent up until March? It sucks, but as a last resort it would still be worth it to live at home and pay the rent. Then maybe you could occasionally spend a night or two there if you have a late day at uni and are feeling brave?
Have you spoken to the landlord agency whatsits about advertising? I imagine it'll be down to you to advertise it, in which case I'd advise websites like gumtree? One of my friends lets out her spare rooms with a good success rate, so I'll ask her what website she uses :)
Best of luck, and please don't beat yourself up (literally!) about this. It's an unfortunate series of events that could happen to anyone. You're not to blame.
http://www.spareroom.co.uk and gumtree are the best places to find someone. You will find there are always people looking for rooms, and it might be best to discuss with your flatmate about advertising asap and having her show people round as she lives there, or worst case you show people round.
I found my flat online with the spareroom site, but there will be people looking for flats.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I don't think you're a horrible person, you and your health needs to be your main priority. Your flatmate doesn't seem very considerate, don't take anything they say to heart.
Contracts suck, I hope you can get something sorted out. Does your Uni have a forum or anything that you could advertise the room on?
You did a really brave thing moving home, I hope you manage to get things sorted over the flat.
You know where I am :)
Rhian xx
'It's Gotta Get Bad Before It Gets Good'
(\__/)
(O.o )
(> < ) This Is Bunny. Copy Bunny into your signature to help him on his way to world domination.
Youre not a horrible person, but you signed a legally binding bit of paper, that stands regardless of any health issues.
Look into it, but from houses ive lived in in the past, you sign your tennancy for x amount of months, however, they will let you find someone else to fill the room should you move out. As long as there are 2 people paying the rent it should be ok. Otherwise it really isnt fair on your flat mate at all.
Could you continue paying your half of the rent until someone else is found/the contract ends? Cause (and I know this will sound really harsh) but your still responsible and it isn't really fair to make your housemate pay the full whack It's like having a dog or a child, you can't stop looking after it when you don't feel up to it! You are still responsible, no matter how ill you are.
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
