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Old 06-09-2019, 09:15 PM   #1
[Luna]
 
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Waiting to wake up for this horrible dream.

Hi, I really use somewhere to talk. I hope thatís ok, I havenít been on here in such a long time.

Things are really, really difficult at the moment.

TW (Medical stuff)
Last Friday my step son had a bad fall off his bike. He hit his head and smashed up his face as well as biting off his tongue. He spent the weekend in the intensive care unit and had to have emergency surgery.
They discharged him from hospital on Wednesday but he was very confused and not behaving like himself. That night he got worse, was extremely confused, was hallucinating and was screaming. He became aggressive and started hitting my wife so we took him back to the hospital. They think he has severe concussion but they also sent him for an MRI which shows bruising and a bleed on the brain. Neurosurgeons are coming to see him tonight to work out a plan.

This has all been really scary and stressful for our whole family. I have a toddler at home that Iíve been looking after by myself while my wife stays at the hospital. Itís really hard for us all being separated from each other although hospital is definitely where E needs to be right now.

Things have been really rough before this happened. I was struggling with my mental health and two of my friends died the week before just days apart. Today I went to one of their funerals. It felt so surreal. I canít believe they are gone. I canít believe any of this is happening.

Since January things just keep happening one thing after another and itís bloody relentless. Iím trying to be brave but Iím really scared and really overwhelmed. I need somewhere where I donít need to put on a brave face.

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Old 06-09-2019, 11:08 PM   #2
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You definitely don't have to put a brave face on here. It sounds like things have been totally overwhelming, that would be a lot for anyone to deal with but especially if they have mental health stuff to manage too. I really hope your step son has good news, it can be hard to feel so powerless I imagine. I'm so sorry to hear about your friends, too.

Of course it's okay to post here. Is there anything we can passively do to help or is it more having a space where you can talk openly about how things feel?

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Old 07-09-2019, 07:29 AM   #3
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I'm at a loss for words but wanted to post so you know I read, care and hear you.

I really hope things ease up soon.







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Old 07-09-2019, 10:37 AM   #4
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Thank you both.
I guess I just need somewhere to offload without worrying about upsetting anyone. Xx

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Old 07-09-2019, 01:22 PM   #5
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Oh no, what an awful situation. I hope that there is some good news for you soon and feel free to offload here whenever you need.



Weíll find a way to fight it, we always have.
It's not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.


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Old 07-09-2019, 01:32 PM   #6
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I'm so sorry everything is piling up one after the other. You can always be honest here, I hope it helps at least a little. I hope things start to improve for you all soon.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 07-09-2019, 06:33 PM   #7
[Luna]
 
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Thank you so much.

I’m struggling today. Very tired and emotional.

My mum has been ‘helping’ me out while my wife has been staying at the hospital but it’s got to the point where she’s become quite overbearing and just hasn’t been giving me any space. When she’s around she just talks about my dad (who died in April) relentlessly. I know that’s how she’s coping with his death but it’s too much for me to hear about him and his illness and death constantly when I’ve recently just lost two friends after losing my dad and having Ethan in hospital. I just wish she’d let me have some space to breathe.

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Old 07-09-2019, 06:51 PM   #8
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Do you think you would be okay to ask your mum not to talk about it at the moment? I think that would be a fair request giving that it's so much with your step son being in hospital and recent bereavements. Hopefully she works understand if you said it was upsetting for you? But even if she doesn't, is still okay to set that boundary if you felt up to it.

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Old 08-09-2019, 03:43 PM   #9
Pi.R^2
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^I agree, it would be completely OK to have a polite conversation with her where you let her know that you find talking about your dad at great length to be pretty tricky and ask if you can try some other 'lighter' conversation topics?



Weíll find a way to fight it, we always have.
It's not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.


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Old 08-09-2019, 05:31 PM   #10
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Thing is with my mum is she will go really over the top about trying not to upset me and that in itself will become stressful. She really tries to be supportive but she just goes overboard. I feel bad for complaining when she’s trying her best.

Ethan’s home now but his tongue has lost blood supply where they reattached and is dying. Ethan was freaking out about the pain and how awful it looks. This poor kid.

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Old 08-09-2019, 09:22 PM   #11
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That sounds distressing. I'm sorry everything is so overwhelming and complicated at the moment. You can offload here as much as you want.





It's a long way down
On this rollercoaster.



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Old 09-09-2019, 01:00 PM   #12
one_step_closer
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*hugs* I'm sorry you're all going through so much right now. How are things today?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 09-09-2019, 01:22 PM   #13
[Luna]
 
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Thank you, I really appreciate having this space.

I returned to a support group I used to go to this morning which was actually really helpful. I’m glad I went.

We took Ethan to a&e last night because he was in a lot of pain.
They said that part of the tongue can’t be saved and needs to be removed so we’re on our way to see the consultant now to have that done.

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Old 09-09-2019, 01:24 PM   #14
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I'm glad you were able to do something good for yourself. Sorry I don't have better words but I have read, I care, and I will be sending positive vibes. I hope things ease up soon for you and your family.



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 09-09-2019, 02:50 PM   #15
one_step_closer
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I'm really glad you were able to make it to the support group and that it was helpful. Will you be able to attend regularly? I hope it goes ok with the consultant and he is at least in less pain. Take very good care of yourself as much as you can.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 09-09-2019, 10:32 PM   #16
[Luna]
 
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Hopefully I’ll be able to attend on Mondays.

Today has been a draining one. Ethan’s been readmitted for surgery.
He had a really bad day. He was confused, aggressive to us and the hospital staff, was hitting my wife again, I asked him not to shout at me and his started punching our car. My poor wife had to cope while I got our little boy from nursery and have been looking after him/

This all just feels like an awful dream and I’m more than ready to wake up now.

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Old 10-09-2019, 08:21 PM   #17
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That does sound like so much to deal with, I can see why it feels like a terrible nightmare. The time is passing though and I hope that soon you will no longer feel like everything is unbearable. How has your day been?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 10-09-2019, 09:21 PM   #18
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I feel broken.
I just feel broken. I don’t know what else to say.

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Old 11-09-2019, 09:37 AM   #19
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*sends hugs*

Anyone would be feeling that way, with everything that's going on for you. I'm thinking of you and hoping that everything gets easier soon. How is Ethan doing now?





It's a long way down
On this rollercoaster.



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Old 11-09-2019, 02:37 PM   #20
one_step_closer
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That's a painful feeling. We are here if you need to offload.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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