Out of spoons

[one_step_closer]

I'm glad you made it to the group at least, was it helpful even just to get there?

I hope you feel better pain wise etc soon.

I will of course join in the wand waving but I'm not really a fan of violence!

[Buttons.]

Yeah I was glad I went although I think I talked too much as I was anxious.

Slipped slightly with the drinking, vey minorely but I can’t make myself throw it away.

[nonperson]

Can you ask someone else to throw it away?

Or is it the sort of thing where it's comforting in a way knowing it's still there?

[Buttons.]

I'm not sure. It's definitely comforting to know it's there and I did have a month sober with half a bottle in a cupboard without touching a drop, but this time it's too tempting and I know my body cannot tolerate it. Thing is I'm struggling to care about my body and the state of it right now, I think I've decatastrophised to the degree I just feel numb to physical concerns. I don't feel particularly depressed or anything, I don't want to die, I'm just so fucking tired of everything.

[nonperson]

Well it sounds like if it is too tempting right now then the best thing would be to find a way to get rid of it. And the act of doing that might give you a bit of your self worth back?

[one_step_closer]

Getting rid of it would take less effort than if you had to go through being extra physically unwell after drinking. I get that you are sort of detached and don't care but you will have to experience a load of horrible things if you become more unwell so surely it's best to do what you can to avoid that? What makes it hard to throw it away?

[Buttons.]

What makes it so hard to get rid of...it feels like one of the only things I can rely on to get me through, I can't fully rely on other people in case they hurt me/let me down/screw me over, I can't self harm badly because I can't ask for medical help if need be and I can't get to A&E alone as I can't leave the house without support until I get this new ramp thingio which could f*ck knows when.

With alcohol I know where I'm at, if that makes any sense?

[one_step_closer]

Yeah, I know what you mean. But with the way your body is reacting maybe you will end up with different things happening in response to alcohol. I know that it can be like a tool to survive but it's ultimately not. And it's hard to let go of something you have relied on for a while. It's sad that you don't feel able to reach out to other people for support. Are there any other things you could try? Even an anonymous helpline?

[Buttons.]

I've had itn I can't deal

[chinahorse]

Sending lots of love to you. You're such a lovely person and you'll get through this xx

[Eska]

*sends love*

[one_step_closer]

I know things hurt big time. You have dealt with so much and I'm sure you can keep doing that although I know it's not pleasant at the moment. This will ease. Take good care of yourself, please.

[Buttons.]

Thanks all. Still feeling majorly down. Don't know what to do with myself. Did get another dermal piercing and booked my hand tattoos for April which helped.

[Buttons.]

I tried to kill myself. Ambulance just left.

[Eska]

Oh sweet one, I'm sorry. How are you doing now?

[one_step_closer]

*massive hugs and love* How are you feeling? Has any support been arranged?

[Buttons.]

They’re putting me in psych

[one_step_closer]

How are you feeling about that? I hope you can get some good support to get through this tough time.

[Buttons.]

Bloody pissed off tbh. Voluntary my foot it was a go in voluntarily or we will section yoi

[Zedebee]

You know very well that if you go in willingly then you will still have certain rights. Better that than to be forced in and forced to things against your will.
*mahoosive cuddles*