Contains abuse - Please, how do I start healing from emotional abuse?

[sunny_today]

My father was emotionally and verbally abusive from the time that I can remember life. A few weeks ago he just walked out of my family's life, leaving my mom in straights and trying to raise my 14 year old sister.

I went to a counselor for the first time this week, and it was completely helpful. I learned that, from a professional, that I was living with and surviving abuse. Up to this point, my dad had made it clear what happens at home is no one else's business and I always felt trapped with no one to turn to.

I now want to do more than survive, but thrive. I realize the way I react to most situations stems from the verbal abuse, and a fear of it. I'm in my mid twenties and have never been in a relationship, I always turn away people because I'm terrified of being treated that way. I've turned down job promotions, live alone, and am afraid that one day I'll turn out like him.

What can I do, where can I go, and what can I read or do to help me heal and become in a better place?
Thanks so much
sunny_today

[Amaryllis]

I think continuing to see your therapist is a good idea. It might also help to read some books about things, there are a lot of books about abuse out there as well as a lot of articles. That may be a good place to start from.

[Stellata]

'Healing the scars of emotional abuse' is one really good book.
Therapy indeed is also the best way - it's what helps me the most.

[sapphire hearts]

You are not going to turn out like him sweetie. You know what he did, and you know that's not someone you are or ever want to be. You're not going to turn into your dad hun.

It's hard to recover from any kind of abuse. I completely agree with continuing to see your therapist, that's a fantastic step. This might sound silly, but it helped me - every day, write down something good about yourself. Or a positive mantra. Or even think it, when you're looking in the mirror. Like "I am a good person" or "I do not deserve to be treated badly", that kind of thing. It takes repetition, but it helps in the long run.

Take care hun. PM me anytime :) x