Need some help please I cant take anymore - Page 5

Uglyducklin · 10-01-2011, 08:20 AM

ARRGH FAT FAT FAT FAT USELESS BITCH I am.My weight had gone up its the extra milk mum has been giving me because of exams.Im so stupid I should never have drunk it.Will probably fail them anyway.Sorry to moan please look after yourself hun and come home if you need to.Post laterxx

over the rainbow · 10-01-2011, 07:24 PM

hey love.
how was the exam?
oh hun, YOU ARE NOT FAT OR USELESS!!! you are so lovely. you are my freind and you help me, so you are not useless at all. i need you. i know its so hard but please keep the milk in if you can. your mum probably just wants to help and think a liquid will be easier for you to manage than food. you need to keep as strong as you can to do these exams. if you restrict you wont be able to focus.
im sure you did fine hun and im sooo proud of you for doing the exam. give yourself a pat on the back for that.
please try not to feel so guilty. you needed the milk love. you would have felt awful without it. take care my freind. xx

Uglyducklin · 10-01-2011, 09:48 PM

Thanks hun exhausted after exam.Turning the place upside down I cant find my Animal behaviour dictionary!Im still a mess.Trying not cut I dont want to be this FAT!Are you feeling any better?How was your day?xx

nowhereman · 11-01-2011, 03:41 AM

You're NOT fat. I know how stressful exams are, thats when I first started getting depressed, well other reasons too but exam stress as well. I just think they're so unreasonable, they should go by assesment, not one single exam. it makes me quite angry to be honest. people feel bad enough without that. and so sorry about your dad, that must be so tough. I can't even imagine how awful that would be. pm me.

Uglyducklin · 11-01-2011, 10:51 PM

Thanks hun total mess right now.Struggling with revision.Scared about second opinion feel I dont deserve it am too FAT.Just want it to end.Running out of fight.Hows U/x

Uglyducklin · 12-01-2011, 09:41 PM

everything feels so OUT OF CONTROL!I deserve to be punished.Desperate to escape my body.Sorry to moanx

[LittleMonster] · 12-01-2011, 10:01 PM

You do not deserve to be punished hun
You're not moaning
Do you think you could try and do something relaxing/ distracting to help you regain control? xx

Uglyducklin · 12-01-2011, 10:16 PM

Just sat down to revise again I have an exam tomorrow.All over the place.Need to be thin will never happen!How are you doing?x

[LittleMonster] · 12-01-2011, 10:37 PM

You don't needto be thin darling, it's just your ED, please please try and ignore it I know it's hard.
I'm up and down <3

Keep revising!! Good luck for your exam xx

over the rainbow · 12-01-2011, 11:40 PM

good luck hun.
please try and fight those thoughts and keep strong for tommorow. you will be able to focus better if you look after yourself.
take care.xx

over the rainbow · 13-01-2011, 07:33 PM

hey love.
how are you feeling?
how was the exam?
love n hugs. xx

Uglyducklin · 13-01-2011, 08:11 PM

Hi hun exam was hard!How are you doing?My head is still a mess.I made my list for programme leader about appeal letter but he wasnt around so I couldnt give it to him.Was really built up to aswell.Will probably email him and ask if he is about next week it sounds stupid but I dont want the other lecturers to know and if I hand some a Private and Confidential envelope they know its from me!Sorry rambling.Cant wait to start restricting!Hows college?xx

over the rainbow · 13-01-2011, 09:00 PM

well done for sitting the exam love! im sorry it was hard but im sure you did fine.
aw, poor you. i know what thats like when you build yourself up to do something like that. e mailing him is a good idea. dont give up hun. it doesnt sound stupid at all and is a good idea.
hey, dont plan on restricting hun, please dont. i know how tempting it must be but you need to be so careful. you know how easy it is to get back into this and you cant do that. it will take over you again. please try to keep eating as well as you can.
college is FAB. such a busy weekend ahead. im visiting the dog groomers for a chat about a placement tommorow and am going to my current placement in the morning. got about 6 assignments too.
take care and keep safe. xx

Uglyducklin · 13-01-2011, 09:19 PM

Cool I hope it goes well.What have you been upto?Are you coping at the minute?The extended diploma is a heavy work load isnt it!How long are your assignments usually and do you have exams?xx

Uglyducklin · 13-01-2011, 10:56 PM

In pieces.Anorexia would do anything to fall at your feet.I fail at everything.HATE myself so much right nowxx

Lyddie · 13-01-2011, 11:00 PM

*holds gently*

You do not fail at everything, sweetheart. Please don't hate yourself. You are lovely and kind and caring, you're just going through a really difficult time right now and your ED is being horrid. You can get through this though, you really can.

Uglyducklin · 13-01-2011, 11:11 PM

Thanks hun I cant stop cryiong and shaking.xx

Lyddie · 13-01-2011, 11:13 PM

*sends safe hugs*

Is there anything nice you could try to do for yourself at the moment, love? Even if it's having some rest!
Also, do you think you need something to eat/drink (from a healthy point of view, not your ED's)?

Uglyducklin · 13-01-2011, 11:18 PM

Have still allowed myself soya milky coffee tonight.Will have to stop having so much tomorrow.Might make another one.How are you doing?xx

Lyddie · 13-01-2011, 11:30 PM

Well done on having the coffee, it's probably a good idea to have another one. But you absolutely do not need to stop having as much tomorrow. I doubt your body's really getting enough to get by on as it is.
I'm fine thank you, my lovely.