Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - **DARK** trig SUI/ED also
getting there- with trusting counsellor. Today however, counsellor strongly suggested that my SI/ED/SUI attempts are all things i have used/created in order to not deal with of think about the abuse. i guess in part thats right but i would just rather leave the abuse alone (i dont remember it for a reason- why make myself remember when its gonna hurt more) then deal with it- ive made it half my life without the abuse affecting me in any great way, and im fine the way i am- yes i SI and i have a eatting issue but hey at least i dont drink and do drugs. he told me that we cant jsut 'fix' the physical symptoms and leave the underlying cause alone.... but im willing to try. its dark where i am but the ight is too scary- too much can hurt me agian and shatter the girl i created. i know its better to want the light to reach for it, to deal with stuff.... but in the dark its safe, comfortable and i can control things.
anyway sorry, not sure what the point of this was.
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