Positive recovery post - Advice please

Km123 · 02-12-2016, 06:07 AM

Does anyone have any advice on things to do when you want to self harm? I'm trying very hard to stop doing that and I need help. I feel like I've been trying so hard and reading constantly. I'm trying to stay positive and hoping I'd be able to try some things that have worked for some of you. My goal is to not ever do it again. Thank you to anyone who is willing to try to help me.
P.S. I hope this is ok to post.

Kyaneos · 03-12-2016, 08:17 PM

Hi there, well done for wanting and trying to stop self harming, and also for reaching out for help here.

Reading is a good distraction, is there anything else you like to do that could distract you? Hobbies or activities that you find calming.

Self care is also very important, especially when you are trying to stop self harming, maybe there are things you could do that are nice for yourself such as a bath or baking or watching your favourite film.

You also might find the Big Distraction List helpful!

Km123 · 04-12-2016, 10:07 AM

I like your end quote. I feel like I've lost myself and I don't even know what I enjoy anymore. I'm a single mom now and there isn't much I can do.

Km123 · 04-12-2016, 10:13 AM

Thank you for caring enough to reply to me.

Kyaneos · 04-12-2016, 11:56 AM

There is lots you can do even as a single mum :) sounds like you need to try and find 'yourself' again.

Maybe you could take a relaxing bath after your children are in bed or get them involved and do some baking or snuggle up on the sofa and watch a disney film. Even if you include your children that doesnt mean it cant be a distraction or soothing to you too :)

Km123 · 05-12-2016, 05:48 AM

I usually have the problem after my daughter goes to sleep. I have a super hard time trying to sleep and then I think bad and depressing thoughts. Mainly due to medical problems I have and I never feel good about myself. I'm constantly looked down on by my family also. I have a lot doing on and it really sucks some times. I just feel like I'm constantly fighting to survive and I'm all alone.

Km123 · 05-12-2016, 06:04 AM

I honestly feel like no one would care if I was gone.

Kyaneos · 05-12-2016, 12:30 PM

Your daughter would probably care if you were gone :) and I don't say that to guilt trip you, I promise. Just to highlight that depression can totally skew our perception of the people who matter and make us believe awful things about ourselves when in reality they are completely wrong.

I am sure there are far more people that would care than you think.

Have you considered speaking to your doctor about the problems you have with sleeping?

Km123 · 06-12-2016, 09:03 AM

I have but I reacted badly to all of the medication they have tried on me. It's almost like any medication they give me I either have a bad reaction to it or it literally does nothing at all. :/

Pi.R^2 · 06-12-2016, 08:00 PM

Hiya, it's great to read that you're trying so hard to stop self harming. It's tough, but it's absolutely worth it :)

What sort of stuff do you remember enjoying in the past? Maybe revisiting something that used to be important to you would be a good place to start with finding out who you are and what you might enjoy.

I appreciate that it feels a bit pointless after other medications have not been helpful, but I think it's still worth a try going back to your doctor as maybe whatever they try this time will be the medication that really helps you.

lilred · 07-12-2016, 12:01 AM

I found revisiting childhood hobbies or starting new hobbies that I always wanted to do, but never had the opportunity as a child, to be super helpful. I started playing flute again, reading, started ballet and ice skating as an adult. I also tend to struggle at night, and I could see how it would be especially difficult once your daughter goes to bed. I always tell myself to make it through the night and it will all be better in the morning. Sometimes I'm right and sometimes it's not better in the morning, but I never know until I try to just make it through those few hours of pain and insomnia.

Km123 · 07-12-2016, 11:05 AM

Thank you. I feel like revisiting my past tends to make it a lot worse for me and a lot more difficult. I used to run to dance to get my mind off those thoughts but due to medical problems I haven't been able to do that. :/ I can barely do anything right now. I can't even drive by myself until they can figure out what's wrong with me. I feel very trapped in my house. So I did try doing stuff around the house more to keep my mind off of it. Basically my house is very clean and organized now which is nice and all but there's nothing else to do. I feel like I'm alone all day and all night and only live for my daughter. Don't get me wrong I love her to death and wouldn't trade her for anything. She just makes hard days harder sometimes. She is at the age where she is constantly testing me and it makes me feel like a bad mom. :(

Pi.R^2 · 11-12-2016, 02:25 PM

You're not a bad mom, kids just have a knack of making us feel like we're the one doing something wrong when it's them acting out!!

Sorry to hear you're not able to do things you used to enjoy because of medical problems. If you liked dance, maybe something musical (either listening to or making music) would be something you enjoy and would be more accessible for you at the moment?

Have you ever had any kind of counselling or therapy?

Km123 · 12-12-2016, 05:26 AM

No I haven't as much as I probably need it i can't afford it. :/ I have looked into low cost ones also and still no luck.