SH and kids

Kathryn_Anna · 23-12-2014, 06:04 PM

Never thought I would be posting here for this reason but I need help, advice, anything. Sorry if this gets a little long. So my son is 7.5 years old. He's been through a lot in the past month medically. Lately we've noticed that he's been having more tantrums and they are becoming more severe. We had a follow up yesterday for his GI doctor and mentioned what was going on and asked if she could recommend a therapist. Thankfully she knew one who she has recommended several times in the past for kids who are going through the same thing as my son. So we're working on getting that lined up.

Here's my issue- he's starting to kick and punch things (mainly the recliner) when he gets upset and has a meltdown. His doctor was worried that he may self harm. I hadn't thought about that before and can totally see him doing that. I just attributed it to him being a normal kid throwing a tantrum.

So until we can get in with a therapist, what do I do? How do I make sure he's not going to hurt himself or kick things when he has a meltdown? I'm at a loss. I don't know where to go from here. Anyone have any experience with this?

Rainbow River · 23-12-2014, 06:38 PM

It might help to show him some things he can do when he's upset that won't hurt him but will still let him get his feelings out. Things like ripping up or scribbling on paper could be a good alternative. Anything that will help him express himself in a safe way. I hope this helps and that things get better soon!

Kathryn_Anna · 02-01-2015, 07:14 PM

Sorry for the late response. It's just been crazy lately.

We're trying to get him to talk and use his words more. I swear he's like a 3 year old sometimes with the way he regresses. We've cuddled him and held him tight all the while letting him know how much he is loved. He colors and scribbles a lot too. I just don't know what more we can do. He gets so frustrated at the littlest things and ends up stomping his feet or kicking something. He never did this even when he was 2 and 3 and the little toddler tantrums run wild.

talaiporia · 02-01-2015, 07:16 PM

Do you know what it is that sets him off?

Kathryn_Anna · 08-01-2015, 07:36 PM

There's no one thing that sets him off. It's anything and everything. I'm noticing more and more negative behavior from him. I wish I had a clue what I could do to help. :(

Goofy · 23-01-2015, 08:46 PM

It sounds like he's overloaded (or really stressed or frustrated).
As he gets older there maybe higher or other expectations of him.

Can he meet the expectations?
How's he doing socially?
Is he being bullied?
Is there anything going on at school?
And how is he doing at school?
Does he have many activities he goes to?
Does he get enough time to decompress/unwind?

Could you try letting him go to school for half days only and see how he does then?

And i don't know if this is relevant or not, but have you looked up the symptoms of autism or Aspergers syndrome?

ajrocks · 24-01-2015, 12:04 AM

Hiya I work one to one with a child who is extremely violent and my own son also has issues and complete meltdowns so I may be able to offer some ideas.I know how frustrating and heartbreaking it is so
1) Take some time for yourself most importantly!
2) Mood charts can be very helpful (and you could get him to help make it or choose the faces.) all you need is some comics that he doesn't mind being cut up an A4 piece of card and some blu tack.Just get him to choose a face for happy,sad,angry and then any other emotions he wants-if he wants.
He doesn't have to do it and he may loose interest but the most important thing is it is there if he wants to do it and you are acknowledging his feelings.When my son does it I simply say oh you are feeling angry today do you want to tell me why? he does not have to answer and if he doesn't want to then I just say I'm sorry you feel that way maybe you can talk to me later.
3) anything that he can hold such as bubble wrap,blu tack,stress balls can help in a meltdown. (as long as its soft-you don't want something hard launched!)
4) Having a place to retreat to where he can be alone-a den,tent,quiet area somewhere he feels comfortable-and talk that through with him when he is calm.
5) You could make a cardbourd box with all sorts of items listed above so this can be his 'anger box' or whatever else you want to call it.
6) Does he get stressed when he doesn't know what he's doing or his routine changes? If so you can have a visual timetable which can be made in the same sort'e way as the mood chart.
7) Timers can help-e.g you have until this timer goes off and then we are going to do this or go out etc.
8) Consequences after the event (when he is calm.) is also important. depending on him and what hes done but time out,saying sorry etc etc

Hope some of those may help-also sometimes children can come up with good ideas of what helps them so maybe see what he says.sorry to drone on,this is my job so I have a host of ideas i've tried! Oh and it is just that-trial and error,what works for one doesn't work for another so don't be disheartened if some things don't work every child is different.
I hope you get to see the therapist soon try not to self blame this is a common but fixable problem.take care of yourself :)

Kathryn_Anna · 03-02-2015, 05:41 PM

Thanks everyone for the advice. We go on the 18th to see a psych. We've talked with his pediatrician already and he referred us to the psych. It's really a roller coaster with him. He is up for a few days then all of a sudden he's down and out. Then he'll be in good spirits again later. We've thought about autism and Aspergers. We'll have to see what his evaluation is like. I have a weather board to let him know what the weather will be like. Maybe I can add a mood thing on to the other half of it. It's a pretty big cork board. Sorry to type and run. Therapy is about to start for my daughter!