hugs sorry to hear you are struggling hunni wish i had somedadvice but stuck for words at the momment if u ever wanna talk im just apm away xxxxxxxxxtc
young girl its alright your tears will soon dry your soon be free to fly
she's falling from grace , she's all over the place..............
only just got online so not had chance to message you.
how things going? they sound like they are moving fast on upping when you ae still fagile in your mind about it all. is it possible to ask for extra support around it like someone else to sit with you at meals and aftewads.
Aimee they're not going too well. I just want to get out of here but they won't let me leave. They've said that I have to up my meal plan because I've been here for over 2 weeks and apparently I have to move forwards :/
We do have a nurse or 2 sitting with us during meals, but it's really hard to ask for support and there's not really much that they can do.
if you argue with them it may not achieve much but may help them see the pain this causes. I know you have to move forwards and am glad that they are helping you do that but you need more help to mentally move forwards.
kick scream whatever you want so that they realise the pain your in inside. they probably can expect to know what you would say but they need to ehar you say how hard it is.
You don't deserve to die at all, your a beautiful and lovely person. Stay strong you can beat this. Im sorry i don't have a lot of advice just wanted to offer my support, pm if it would help.
take care heidi x
'Watch with glittering eyes, the world around you. Those who do not believe in magic will never find it' - Roald Dahl
thanks Heidi Andrea Kat and Katy, I'm sorry for writing that I was having a really bad night.
Having said that I'm not exactly feeling better this morning but oh well.
I keep trying to look for something positive to keep me going but I keep drawing blanks. I really am trying to be positive it's just that I'm so mentally and physically exhausted I feel like I can't go on, and think that suicide is a good idea.
Suicide is not a good idea, your worth so much more than that. I know you are findng things hard right now, i understand, we all do but please keep fighting, keep talking, keep ranting. Kick & scream to get your fury out if you have to. Please just dont give up. You are such a wonderful person & you do not deserve what you are going through. I know you cant see it now but if you keep fighting imagine how much better your life would be? No more hospitals, no more ED, no more suicide thoughts.. just freedom? You can beat this. We all believe in you.
Please believe in yourself.
Keep going.
We are all behind you
there are the good old making collages, art, write music - a good one is to write your own version of lyrics to a song you already know.
erm....design your dream house - like full on design it
wish i could come visit you and then yell at the staff on your behalf to say she needs more mental and emotional support. you need to tell them how much you are finding this hard in order to make sure recovery lasts for you xx
Linzie I wish so much that I could believe your kind words, but right now all I have is intense self loathing and hatred. I want to believe in myself, I want to imagine a life without this but it's like I just dont know how. I know that sounds stupid but it's the best way I can explain it right now.
Aimee thankyou for your suggestions, I have started doing collages and a little bit of very crappy painting, it helps a little bit, been journalling a lot as well.
I'm really ashamed to admit this, but I smuggled in some laxatives the other day and have taken them the last 2 nights. I know that I should stop or tell P this afternoon, but I just can't. I don't want to lose the trust that he has in me, and I dont want my leave to be cancelled. I'm a bit lost.
Also I'm freaking out about getting weighed today, it's 3:30am here and I can't sleep because I'm freaking out. Last week I gained X kilos; apparently it was because I was massively dehydrated and hadn't been eating, but I dont believe them I think they're just lying to me. I guess I'll find out in a few hours.
Thanks again for your support everyone I really appreciate it.