i have just had a massive binge on cookies and biscuits and chocolate and chocolate spread straight out of the jar after already having breakfast and lunch, and it wasnt even 2pm yet. AAARGGHHHHHHH WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO FILL MYSELF UP TILL I FEEL PHYSICALLY SICKK! i do NOT NEED that much food.
Why can't I stop? I see fat when I look in the mirror yet why do I eat till I'm sick? Why does it comfort me? Why can't I stop eating? I was almost there before... Why does she always have to be perfect? Why can't I be perfect?
Last edited by random.swirls : 28-07-2012 at 01:04 AM.
Reason: Removing numbers as per the ED rules
'Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay.
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away.'
I have lost some weight healthily, but it's not quick enough and I still feel disgusting and huge (which I am). I should just stop eating altogether, but again, that requires willpower and I don't have any.
I have lost some weight healthily, but it's not quick enough and I still feel disgusting and huge (which I am). I should just stop eating altogether, but again, that requires willpower and I don't have any.
Love my life.
Couldn't have said it better myself. (about me, not you Tiff darling)
I'm fed up.
Why does it have to be like this? Why do I feel like I'm good for nothing? why does nothing ever go right?
Why do I have to eat until I feel like I'm about to throw up without even trying..why? I feel so disgusting right now, I just wish I could go to the bathroom and get rid of the ****ing food in my stomach. But I can't because mom would hear and she can't know...no I'm trying hard to convince her everything is alright..
I promise, I promise I won't eat tomorrow.
I'm sorry, S. , I'm just not good enough...I'm sorry I can't listen to your advice, I'm sorry I am like this...I'm sorry, I can't eat anymore.
watched a show - teenage tourette's camp or something - and i just felt so sorry for jen and mad at everyone else.
people on youtube - what i was watching it on - were like, "it's always the fat ones that start the trouble." and, "the whale is annoying me."
ffs, GROW THE EFF UP.
idk, maybe i'm just over-sensitive when it comes to weight.
it did make me dread ever seeing a person with tourette's. i know it wouldn't be their fault, but if (like jess did with jen) they called me something negative to do with my appearance, i don't think i'd be able to stop from crying. or dying of shame. plus, i'd be kind of mad, considering it is something they think, like jess's sister pointed out.
idk, i know a lot of people will tell me to get over myself, but i'm just really angry.
There are some nice things in there (I say some, I mean some. Most are completely ridiculous).
But it's so damn depressing walking thorough the shop and just KNOWING that whatever you see won't fit/wasn't designed for someone your shape or size.
Sigh. It's bloody depressing.
this.
a reason for losing weight -
not having to do the hesitation at the door of a shop because you're scared it'll be one of those small sizes only shop and how shameful would it be to find that out while in the shop, everyone staring at you, thinking - no, i won't let myself go there.
it's just one of the many reasons i wanna lose weight. but it still isn't enough, it would seem.
