A/B FAQ: I experienced sexual pleasure during abuse. Does that mean I liked it?
Many people have gone through immense guilt, confusion and shame over feeling sexual pleasure during sexual abuse or rape. Experiencing sexual pleasure during abuse can not only confuse a person by making them think they “liked” it and think terrible things about themselves, but it is sometimes used as leverage by abusers. Quite often, if abusers noticed their victim’s body reacted to sexual stimulation they might say that it means the person enjoyed it, or call them dirty names. This makes the victim feel worse about an already traumatic experience.
First and foremost everyone should know that sexual pleasure is not something that can be controlled. All it really is, is the body’s reaction to a stimulation. A person’s reaction of sexual pleasure during sexual abuse is no different than a person’s reaction of pain during physical abuse. Your body cannot differentiate from a person you want to be sexual with and one you do not. It also does not know that you might be too young to experience any feelings like that. You should never blame yourself for something as physically involuntary as this.
Also, when you think about the feeling of “liking” or “enjoying” something, it is an emotion. Now of course, sometimes physical aspects come into play, but enjoyment is first and foremost an emotion. If you were raped/sexually abused you were obviously feeling, scared, sad, confused, and a mess of other painful emotions. Therefore, no matter what your physical reaction, you did not “like” it.
For questions about liking the attention during sexual abuse, please visit this thread:
There is a type of like though... it's hard to explain. It's not a 'like' as you would feel if you 'liked' having a hot chocolate. It's a like as though you enjoy being treated as you think you should.
I can't describe it properly, but I think it's important to point out that if you're feeling as though you like what is happening because you think you deserve it, or because it's the kind of 'love' and 'affection' the person abusing you shows you and you come to crave it because that's how you share your 'love' then that's different to real life 'like'.
There is a type of like though... it's hard to explain. It's not a 'like' as you would feel if you 'liked' having a hot chocolate. It's a like as though you enjoy being treated as you think you should.
I can't describe it properly, but I think it's important to point out that if you're feeling as though you like what is happening because you think you deserve it, or because it's the kind of 'love' and 'affection' the person abusing you shows you and you come to crave it because that's how you share your 'love' then that's different to real life 'like'.
Thank you for posting this. I think a lot of people feel guilty over this but like you said it's just a reaction. Like if someone tickled you and you laughed, or someone got you to smell black pepper and you sneezed, it's just your body reacting to stimulant.
Thank you for posting this. I think a lot of people feel guilty over this but like you said it's just a reaction. Like if someone tickled you and you laughed, or someone got you to smell black pepper and you sneezed, it's just your body reacting to stimulant.
this, because abuse is unwanted, doesnt mean your body isnt gonna react in any sort of way.
I already told you my whole life story
and not just based on my description
'cause where you see it from where you're sitting
It's probably 110% different
so not my fault then, just stupid bodies fault for accidents.
why cant we control our bodies reactions? cause it makes them believe i like it when i dont and makes them do it more.
Because it's an involuntary physical reaction. Honey they don't really believe you like it, they know you don't. They're just saying that to torment. you. *hugs*
Farewell the Ashtray Girl
July 12, 1987-April 30, 2010
