Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - 5 years on he is still there

*lil broken girl* · 06-10-2007, 02:49 PM

i have reached a stage in thinking that maybe i should just forget what happened to me 5 long years ago but little things stop me on my road to recovery. i see him on nights out with my fiance and when i go for calming walks round town even in the local library for godsake.

he raped me at 13, i became pregnant with his kid he knew how much i wanted a baby from an early age and the i realised that it wouldnt be possible for me to go ahead with it i mean to have his kid as a result of something i didnt want to happen.

Anyways i look back on it day in day out how i could have had a little girl and how she would have been going to infant school and how i would have given that child more love than i had witnessed in my whole if but that wouldnt happen and then 5 years on he takes his chance again and even at the age of 18 i still feel like a little child when i think about how i let him do that to me it makes me feel so sick inside.

after i had told my fiance what had happened to told mr that he would be there to protect me from dan and his evil ways and that i had to go to the police. i didnt want to has they hadnt been much help the first time round but i reluctantly went the following week. and to my surprise they told me that they were already following another nine cases in connection with the same dan that had raped me twice. i shockingly discovered that the nine other girls he raped were all the same age as me the first time it happened and that they thought after each one of us turned 18 he would do it again that made me feel even more sick and they werent doing anything to stop him!!!!

chingas · 06-10-2007, 03:44 PM

Anni I'm so sorry to hear that..
I hope with all my heart that the police will catch that bastard..

*lil broken girl* · 06-10-2007, 03:59 PM

thanx hunni that means a lot to me

Victim+Of+Hate · 06-10-2007, 05:23 PM

hey hun,

I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you.OInce is awful but twice is unbearable. Wel ldone for having the strength and courage to report this guy.I'm sure that the police will catch him and arrest him soon.And when they do,he'll be punished.Severely.

You say the police aren't doing anything - but how can you be Sure?. Perhaps they are doing something about it,but you're just not aware of it?. Sometimes it's not easy to catch someone.Especially if he is a re-offending person. Which by the 9 rapes,it sounds as though he is...

If you need to tlak,PM me sweetie,
Chels.x

Amaryllis · 07-10-2007, 07:01 AM

I wish I had something to say. I don't though.

I do understand hating the police though.

ConfusedGirl · 07-10-2007, 10:48 PM

I believe that you will get through this, it will take you time. Be strong be positive and take the shoulders and hands that are given to you.

ghosts in the machine · 14-10-2007, 12:31 AM

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but you made it, and you're surviving still. You're a really strong person, and he can't take that away from you.

I think you're probably like all of us, and say "why can't I just move on and forget it", but whoever said we needed to put a time limit on our healing?! Plus seeing the guy who did this to you is probably terrifying, and I don't know how you manage to cope with it.

I really hope the police get him - good luck with it hunny. Take care of yourself xx

dancingirl · 27-10-2007, 02:11 PM

i havent really got anything to say that could help and im not too good with words at the moment but after reading your post i just wanted you to know you're not on your own. i dont mean as in with what happened but as in you dont have to keep what did happen and how you feel and felt then to yourself and we're here for you because what happened was wrong and you didnt deserve any of it but its not what you LET him do as you said - you were still so young when it happened and should never have been put in that position and you didnt let or allow it to happen at all

here any time you want or need if it helps
ellie

shadow in the background · 27-10-2007, 02:46 PM

I don't understand......if he is out there and you see him around, and there have been no less than NINE other cases reported against him, why the hell haven't the police got him? It's not like thay can't get him, it's more that they won't. What on earth is holding them back???? They have enough evidence to put him away for life.

Well done for staying so strong, I hope so so so so much that this complete injustice is corrected as soon as possible.

sitb x