I'm not ok. If I wasn't scared about how much anxiety I would have after yet another semester off, I would take next semester off. I know that would be the best plan for me but I also know coming back will be worse for me. If I want to finish school, I need to just suck it up and finish it now. I only have a year left, I can do this but I don't want to. I'm scared. I'm scared about so much then you will ever know. And yes, he haunts me day and night.
I never thought this was possible. Everyone told me I couldn't possibly love somebody as long as I didn't love myself. I hate myself. Damn! I HATE myself! And still I love you with my heart and soul. And it kills me.
Because I will never have you. Ever.
I can't do this any longer.
"The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference."
- Elie Wiesel
look. i know you're upset and i know you want them and i KNOW it's not fair but stop taking it out on me. i hate being bitched at for shit that isn't my fucking problem. just because i don't have access to directions to a store when you should've looked them up yourself doesn't mean you can be bitchy. same with me calling places. i fucking HATE calling stores. but i'll do it for you. you need to start doing some of that though. you say you hate relying on people, but aren't you relying on me to call stores, get directions, give you comfort, etc? i love you so much, you don't even realize.. and i'm sorry if this posts makes you mad. but don't fucking take it out on me. i hate being signed off on. and i hate it when you respond with "k". it hurts. talk to me when you're ready. i'm tired of trying to help people. i always fail or get hurt.
Last edited by lovelybones : 04-01-2009 at 01:20 AM.
FUCK YOU.
fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou.
i'm so so so damn tired of this shit.
you're fucking emotionally abusive, okay?
i'm tired of getting shit thrown at me every time i defend my little brother.
i can't wait to get the fuck out of here.
you make me so mad sometimes.
fuck, in the old days i would've fucking hurt myself.
i don't need this tonight. it's already been hard.
What is with this sudden rush of pain? It's enough to send me from my highest of highs to my lowest of lows. I'M NOT BIPOLAR. There's no way I can be. I'm so upset right now. For what reason?
I don't want to hurt you but I was drunk when I agreed all that time ago, drunk the first time, and have just been trying to avoid the subject since. I want to be supportive,I know it makes you happy, but it might just push me over the edge.
How do I let you down gently?
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
Please don't whistle in the house.
I had this dream once where everytime you whistled an evil spirit came rushing through the walls like wind. I get scared every time I hear you.
stop it. you're breaking my heart.
i came on msn to talk to me lving boyfriend.
if you see him tell him the person talking out of his mouth is an asshole.
i really need you right now
