Triggering (Abuse) - Physical Abuse

amy-anne · 10-06-2007, 07:14 PM

I don't really know what to say here. I was abused physically by my mum when I was younger. I forgive her for what she did that's not the problem because I know she was abused by her parents. I just can't forget what she did and I want to tell people and let them know but I get so worried I'd be disrespecting her.... if that makes sense. The thing is sometimes I wonder why it was just me and not my siblings that was beaten. Did I do something wrong? I remember my mum threatening me if I told someone and that hurts more than the actual beating if that makes sense she knew it was wrong and still did it. She doesn't hurt me anymore (at least not physically) but I can cope with the snide comments that she sometimes has. I just don't think I can cope with the memories anymore.

helper1218 · 10-06-2007, 07:26 PM

Honey there wasn't anything wrong with you for being abused. *hugs* Sometimes certain children are just singled out to be abused and its not their fault. Ever read A Child Called It? He was singled out of all his 4 brothers, and he never did anything wrong. And you're not disrespecting her by telling anyone she hurt you or being angry or feeling anything like that. What she did was wrong, regardless of her childhood. You can get through it, try to get it all out and get therapy or counselling for it. *more hugs* and then there's always RYL to tell about what you've been through. You can do it honey, good luck.

amy-anne · 10-06-2007, 11:05 PM

Thanks, helper. It's just sometimes i feel I'm making a big deal over nothing. I don't know... I'm feeling like no-one understands apart from those that have been through something similiar and I don't know anyone who has in "real life"... Just feeling lonely, sorry.

rainbow.love · 10-06-2007, 11:09 PM

sweetie dont apologize, this is what RYL is here for..to get support and help you get through these rough times with people by your side, so you're not alone.
i cant even imagine being abused by somebody that close to me, its just so much to take in.
major kudos for you being able to talk about it..it shows just how strong you really are.
take care , xo

helper1218 · 11-06-2007, 12:07 AM

Yeah, you don't need to apologize sweetheart. Maybe you could go to some kind of abuse support group in your area if you want to meet other people in person who've been abused too. Do a google search for it and I'm sure some things will pop up. *hugs* Good luck, and remember you're not alone.

amy-anne · 11-06-2007, 08:34 PM

Thanks both... I'm just having a scary time at the moment and I just want to go to bed and to wake up with none of the memories. Or have one day without a flashback. There's a big queue for counselling at the moment and I don't really know if any of the abuse support groups would be suitable as they all seem to be for sexual abuse... I don't know, I just want someone to take all the pain away.

I don't want to complain. I know people have gone through worse than I have