You're not a bad person for wanting him to suffer. Whether he 'meant to' or not, he did it, and he's responsible for his actions. How you feel about him, I would imagine, is completely appropriate given the situation, being abused and assaulted can leave you feeling so, so many things, some in contradiction to the others. It can be so confusing.
His apology doesn't take away the seriousness of what he did, and you shouldn't have to feel like you can't be angry, betrayed and whichever other feelings you might be experiencing.
Take care. Xx