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Old 19-07-2019, 10:30 PM   #1
sophie.ashworth
 
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I am currently:
triggered

So i stupidly just watched an ed movie, there was a scene in it where the main character got tubed and i had an awful flashback to when i was restrained and tubed. i am so triggered right now, having thoughts of purging and slicing off my fat. am close to tears, need a hug!



Help me live not just survive.

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Old 20-07-2019, 06:39 AM   #2
Pi.R^2
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*hugs*. That sounds really difficult and I hope you’re feeling a little better now.

How are things now?



We’ll find a way to fight it, we always have.
It's not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.


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Old 21-07-2019, 01:52 AM   #3
activebrain
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Triple hugs. I understand. I can't watch things like that because of too many triggers for myself. How are you, now?


Last edited by activebrain : 21-07-2019 at 02:06 AM.


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Old 21-07-2019, 05:11 PM   #4
sophie.ashworth
 
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thanks for the hugs and replies.
i am ok, still locked in a battle with myself and engaging in ed behaviours but can close my eyes now and not see that movie scene.



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Old 23-07-2019, 01:16 PM   #5
Pi.R^2
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Well that's a start.

What are the pros and cons of engaging in ED behaviours at the moment?



We’ll find a way to fight it, we always have.
It's not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.


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Old 24-07-2019, 09:14 AM   #6
coco5
 
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It sounds like a difficult struggle, but I really hope you’re doing better now *hugs*

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Old 04-08-2019, 04:59 PM   #7
sophie.ashworth
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pi.R^2 View Post
What are the pros and cons of engaging in ED behaviours at the moment?
pros:
i lose weight
i feel in control through controlling what goes in my body
i can control my emotions through food and related behaviours


cons:
binging is expensive
guilt
bad for my health


i could probably go on but if im honest i could find 100 reasons not to do it and still hhang on to the pros



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Old 05-08-2019, 03:52 AM   #8
Auror.
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What if you looked at each pro individually and looked at what some cons might be of continuing those behaviors longer term versus immediate?

For example, if you lose weight, you may have to gain/restore that weight eventually. If you restrict to feel in control, later on you binge and feel out of control, so the in control feeling doesn't last. You can come up with your own obviously, but sometimes while the pros of it seem nice compared to the cons, when you look at a longer time period/non immediate impact of some of the pros, that can sometime make it seem less ideal.



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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