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Graphic / Triggering - Update..... *trigger SI ED SUICIDE*
Wow, I haven't post anything in like 6 months.
So to make a long story short, I'll try to give an update.
I was hospitalized in October when my parents found and read(annoying) my journal where I write basically EVERYTHING. I had pictures and journal entries talking about suicide. I was there for a week then I got to go home for the weekend and when I did go home, I cut. Then I had to go back on Monday, and I ended up getting discharged that day. It didn't help even though I tried so hard and did the work. I ended up back there at the end of November. I was planning to OD. In between those two hospitalizations a lot of stuff happened. I developed an eating disorder and struggled with it for a while. It has gotten better but it's definitely still there. I also ended up getting into some really hard drugs.
You know when they say...
you find your true friends during the hard times?
.....
I realized that I didn't have a single true friend.
The day I got out my friends asked me to go get drunk with them.
The truth is a thousand people could tell me that they are here for me and I would still be alone. I learned my mistakes by talking about problems, so now I prefer to keep quiet. I'm the only one that can feel my pain, so therefore I'm the only one that should know about it.
I'm still struggling, yet I have matured a lot.
Life is a sick little game...
yet I can't stop playing it.
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