Hey
*hugs tightly* Please stay strong and stay safe. If you are feeling very unsafe and suicidal then
go to a safe place, speak to a family member or friend, or go to hospital.
You have options, suicide is not one of them. Cover all the other ones first: speaking to someone such as supporters on
Live Help and
Support Chat, or trained
Samaritans [UK]. I strongly recommend that you read
Suicide Prevention .
Finding the right medication that works and suits you is hard. It takes a lot of time and patience. But it's one of those options that you just have to try.
Definitely tell your CPN tomorrow about how you've been feeling. It's so so important. Print out this thread as well, bring any journals or anything that you've written in lately. It all helps your CPN see how you've been doing.
Losing interest in things is a part of depression. I don't know if you've been diagnosed with anything before, and I'm no doctor...
Maybe you need to just...go somewhere quiet and scream your lungs out, get all that anger and annoyance out of your system? It's healthier than SIing and worth a try. There's loads of alternatives to SIing, writing, drawing, screaming, shouting... they're all worth trying, ye know?
Stay safe and please look after yourself
xo