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Old 06-10-2014, 07:03 PM   #38581
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Craptastic






i won't ever give up on you xx

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Old 06-10-2014, 07:55 PM   #38582
fragile as glass
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Its not looking good because of the amount of times I have cut a ligament when self harming. My legs are weak at the best of times. Grrr.

*glomps Mark back*



GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE


Don't let the sphincter's get you down


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Old 06-10-2014, 09:20 PM   #38583
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Hey all.... Sorry I just disappeared had a bad week or so... Basically moral of the story I've now got another label... Bulimic... Great! I'm too fat to have an eating disorder... It's stupid.



I don't understand myself... I'm searching for the person I am, and the person I want to be..

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Old 06-10-2014, 09:20 PM   #38584
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How is everyone. Sorry to hear about your leg x



I don't understand myself... I'm searching for the person I am, and the person I want to be..

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Old 06-10-2014, 09:27 PM   #38585
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How is everyone doing? Liddy doesnt sound very good but i know the feeling (slightly when i broke my ankle i was housebound for like 6 weeks) so i hope you can recover quickly.

Oh well my manager did not call as promised, well i guess i knew that anyway but as i said before its not about the situation its about the emotions after it. So yeah I'm kinda pissed off about it as i would rather not be lied to but oh well what can you do, no one knows whats happening and when i called in today was like poor you having them as a manager. People keep saying dont think of work as you are off but its not like i can help it, everything is changing and while i am keeping myself busy and out with people and stuff i dont feel distracted enough. I feel like im having a panic attack everytime i think about going back to work and hell that is not normal. Going to see if i can go to doctors tomorrow providing i can get an appointment with who i need to because i dont know what i need to do anymore.

I spent the whole day worrying about stuff i cannot change nor control and perhaps i do that bpd thing of splitting and just seeing everything as bad, but i feel like im breaking down and cannot control it. Why cant i be normal, why do i need to feel like im a monster because of this thing i have and cannot control?





"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"


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Old 06-10-2014, 09:28 PM   #38586
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in bpd hell - it doesnt matter what you weigh you can still have an eating disorder, its not stupid its just how you cope with things.





"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"


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Old 06-10-2014, 09:40 PM   #38587
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Thanks bleeding angel
Sorry that you are feeling panicky. Hope you manage it get your appointment with the doctor. I know that anxious feeling well. I think if I didn't work I'd never self harm ever



I don't understand myself... I'm searching for the person I am, and the person I want to be..

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Old 06-10-2014, 09:56 PM   #38588
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Hi liddy hope Ur resting and icing as much as U can try n get done physio as soon as possible it will did Ur recovery

I'm ok ta x

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Old 07-10-2014, 06:18 PM   #38589
Doikers
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How's everyone's day going?



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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Old 07-10-2014, 06:23 PM   #38590
fragile as glass
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Thank you for leg sympathy! I am still bed bound and can't put my geese to bed so I'm worried about foxes :( ......and I can't feed my cats or rabbits. That's a job for fiancé when he gets home tonight which will be late.



GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE


Don't let the sphincter's get you down


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Old 07-10-2014, 06:35 PM   #38591
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*Glares at Foxes*



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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Old 07-10-2014, 06:46 PM   #38592
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Well i went to the doctors today and i think i was a state there as well, i said everything about work, anxiety and the self harming. They said if i was self harming i should be referred back to the mental health team but i was against it as i cant speak to people as i close up and its pointless. They gave me beta blockers for the anxiety and as its mostly work related to go back in a few weeks as i may need to be referred over to them.

Found out im working 7am til 3pm mon to fri which i wasnt too happy about as im going to struggle to get in for 7am. I said this to someone in work and got a lot of anger back and being told to man up and get over it as other people have issues in life and people got put on worse shift patterns and i should be grateful as i wanted them to change and got what i want. They dont know about my issues and im not going to justify, i got really upset and started panicking again so tried a beta blocker, god i feel funny now. Either way i cannot win.





"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"


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Old 07-10-2014, 07:58 PM   #38593
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Hey

I'm so sorry your struggling with work. I know how you feel. I hate work, but I need work. I hate it my anxiety hits the roof and I feel like I want to die rather than go. I self harm loads up get me through. Not that it helps



I don't understand myself... I'm searching for the person I am, and the person I want to be..

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Old 07-10-2014, 08:01 PM   #38594
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Not great x






i won't ever give up on you xx

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Old 07-10-2014, 10:07 PM   #38595
fragile as glass
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Grr to the foxes.

whats up r.w.scissors?

*glomps Mark*



GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE


Don't let the sphincter's get you down


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Old 07-10-2014, 10:57 PM   #38596
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Just don't know how to help her she in crisis house and people calling me names saying I shoudl of known she OD and shouldn't elft etc taking its toll on me






i won't ever give up on you xx

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Old 08-10-2014, 09:03 AM   #38597
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people are responsible for their own actions (unless sectioned) don't listen to what others say to you x



GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE


Don't let the sphincter's get you down


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Old 08-10-2014, 02:47 PM   #38598
youonlyliveonce
 

It was up to her if she Od U can't stop someone they have to take responsibility for Urself I found this out with my friend who has now gone to rehab n I'm doing Sooo much better which tbh has made the decision to distance my self from her easier...U need to work out whether Ur friendship is toxic or not like are u both bouncing off each other sending each other into crisis(not on purpose but it does happen)

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Old 08-10-2014, 05:50 PM   #38599
Doikers
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I feel ill with anxiety :( and sleep deprived.

Sorry to not be supportive.



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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Old 08-10-2014, 07:00 PM   #38600
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run with scissors, i agree with cheryl as sometimes people who are ill as well that your friends with is not a good thing and can be damaging to yourself as well, you need to figure out if you want them as a friend or to back off a little to give yourself time to cope.

I know how you feel mark, i only have four more days off then back to work but today is the only day i had nothing planned as rest of the time its catching up with people so had time to worry again about going back. Have taken a few of the beta blockers but i think they make me feel strange, i guess as they are supposed to calm your nervous system i feel kinda slow, tired and lightheaded. I dont really know if i should take 3 a day or just when i need to as all i got told is i can take up to 3 a day, but at the same time i dont want to rely on more drugs, im mental enought as it is.

Im really scared to go back to work, as i know emotions are going to be high but alas i have 4 days left and need to try not to think about it and take the pills when i do. Just feel so on my own with this.





"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"


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