Trying to make sense
My head starts pounding,my knees begin to shake. I need is so bad, Iím loosing my faith. Donít knowwhat to say, no not anymore. So donít say a word, just shut the door. Turn awayas if it never happened, or never will. What you donít see, you donít careabout.
Raw is everything I feel.Itís the overwhelming pounding in my head. Itís the **** I think and donít say.Everything Iím scared of is raw. Some people donít understand me. Thatís fine.And those people, will never know the raw real me.
Some days I donítreally want to get out of bed. And go to class. Or work. Or the ****ingbathroom. Nowhere but that goddamn bed. I hate the person I see when I look inthe mirror. I hate any split second that Iím forced to look at my body. Itdisgusts me. But Iím trapped inside myself. I canít stand the sound of my voiceany longer. Itís hard to really open up to anyone and talk about something foran extended period of time without changing the subject abruptly. I findeverything I say to be whinny and ****ing pathetic.