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Old 30-04-2012, 12:19 PM   #41
crazykat
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*Hugs* Hold on there hun, you will get through this





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Old 30-04-2012, 11:06 PM   #42
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Hugs. Thinking of you.



Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. it's you or me, Amplified.

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Old 30-04-2012, 11:18 PM   #43
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I have no words sadly hun, but I am still thinking of you.
xxx



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Old 01-05-2012, 01:47 AM   #44
lozza
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snow White. View Post
*gentle cuddles*
You can get through this. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow, let us know how it goes please if you can. Howcome you felt they weren't taking you seriously? Hopefully the meeting tomorrow will help to sort that out and have people listening to your concerns xx
thank you aimee really means a lot. and I dont know what happened. I gave him my journal to read
The following content has been hidden - Reason : sui trig
which pretty much said I had given up hope, didnt wana be living anymore and
could hear the train tracks calling and could actually visualise being there and
stepping out onto the tracks to be dead


and he said nothing, nothing at all. just how i could keep safe

ummmm right now thats the last thing i wanna do :s

I even told him about jackies annerversary on sunday and what happened on that day last yr (me attemping suicide) and he still said nothing. just "lets see if the new med helps"

arrghhhhhh


Quote:
Originally Posted by xlaurenx View Post
I have no words sadly hun, but I am still thinking of you.
xxx
thank you lauren. I know you are going through a lot so it means a lot
love you xx



sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ٠·˙~

mj is my bright, flickering candle light ~ always helping me through to another day:)
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10


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Old 01-05-2012, 01:48 AM   #45
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and thanks kat and rose xxx



sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ٠·˙~

mj is my bright, flickering candle light ~ always helping me through to another day:)
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10


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Old 01-05-2012, 06:02 AM   #46
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What would you have liked him to say? What kind of support from him are you looking for? Hopefully your own pdoc can get across what they feel is best for you. Also hopefully the new meds work.





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Old 01-05-2012, 10:08 AM   #47
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Thinking of you hun xo

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Old 01-05-2012, 11:07 AM   #48
lozza
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazykat View Post
What would you have liked him to say? What kind of support from him are you looking for? Hopefully your own pdoc can get across what they feel is best for you. Also hopefully the new meds work.
to at least acknowledge that I wasnt feeling great. that I was in a bad place but that doesnt mean I will stay there. just really needed to hear he was listening and getting how serious ella is right now you know?

my own private pdoc cant do anything whilst I'm IP which kinda sucks as she knows me well.

and yeh fingers crossed the meds help!



sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ٠·˙~

mj is my bright, flickering candle light ~ always helping me through to another day:)
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10


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Old 01-05-2012, 01:47 PM   #49
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Yeah I understand, it's hard when we don't have that acknowledgement. Take care of yourself lovely





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Old 02-05-2012, 03:15 AM   #50
lozza
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thanks kat. trying to



sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ٠·˙~

mj is my bright, flickering candle light ~ always helping me through to another day:)
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10


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Old 02-05-2012, 03:26 AM   #51
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Glad your trying hun, keep at it. Thinking of you





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Old 03-05-2012, 01:02 AM   #52
lozza
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from my journal this morning:


my mind is so messed up and conflicted right now. and with each day i am isolating more and struggling to speak the truth.

i emailed T last night (key worker at home).
i want to talk and be honest but I also need to get out of here to kill myself.
her response was that I'd make the right decision in the end.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : *sui trig*
but all my head is focused on is saying goodbye to my pets and stepping out in
front of the train.
I dont know what I am doing anymore. I dont even think I care.

I had to really force myself to go for a walk yesterday - it was tough, really hard... but i had to whilst it wasnt raining so i could post mjs bday pressie. the walk didnt help my mood like i would have hoped either

today I rate my mood as 1, yesterday and the day before it was a 2 (on the scale 10 being the very best..)
I cant even go to group. and yes I know it's important I go but I really cant be around people right now. hiding is easier and so much safer. if I'm alone, no one can hurt me you see...



sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ٠·˙~

mj is my bright, flickering candle light ~ always helping me through to another day:)
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10


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Old 04-05-2012, 09:48 AM   #53
lozza
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discharge date thurs 10th may :s



sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ٠·˙~

mj is my bright, flickering candle light ~ always helping me through to another day:)
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10


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Old 04-05-2012, 01:22 PM   #54
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How are you feeling about it Lozza, can you talk a bit more about it and why they've picked that day?

Have they arranged some post-discharge support?

Hope you're okay x



I belive in you.

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Old 04-05-2012, 02:22 PM   #55
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Hey Lozza honey, I've only just seen this thread.
You really didn't have to worry about my birthday hon, honestly. But thank you very much though I'm sorry the walk didn't help you.
Try to think of the benefits - you're going home on Thursday - that means seeing your piggies again! So you have to keep going for your piggies, right? Love you lots. xxx





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Soul Sister : CrazyHayley



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Old 05-05-2012, 12:52 AM   #56
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thanks guys

and originally pdoc wanted me gone tues/wed but i said no... on thurs norma is working and i feel comfortable around her so thurs is the day

think new med has kicked in too... now to just get off the rest of the seroquel:s

and no prob at all mj, of course I was gona send you something.... I hope you like it :)



sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ٠·˙~

mj is my bright, flickering candle light ~ always helping me through to another day:)
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10


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Old 05-05-2012, 12:58 AM   #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dontwantyoutoknow View Post
Hey Lozza honey, I've only just seen this thread.
You really didn't have to worry about my birthday hon, honestly. But thank you very much though I'm sorry the walk didn't help you.
Try to think of the benefits - you're going home on Thursday - that means seeing your piggies again! So you have to keep going for your piggies, right? Love you lots. xxx
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...31#post3214131

so you can meet them before your bday.... my baby pigs I mean



sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ٠·˙~

mj is my bright, flickering candle light ~ always helping me through to another day:)
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10


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Old 07-05-2012, 07:19 AM   #58
TheQuietOnexx
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How are you going? xo



Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. it's you or me, Amplified.

~ R.I.P. Daddy ~

you have a choice. live or die. every breath is a choice. every minute is a choice. to be or not to be.


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Old 08-05-2012, 01:45 AM   #59
lozza
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crap

lost my wallet this morning:(



sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ٠·˙~

mj is my bright, flickering candle light ~ always helping me through to another day:)
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10


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Old 08-05-2012, 02:38 PM   #60
dontwantyoutoknow
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*cuddles* Got my parcel today! Thank you! Not opening it until my birthday though. xxxx





RYL Family: Sister Bear : Lozza
Soul Sister : CrazyHayley



http://aplaceformj.tumblr.com

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