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Old 04-05-2012, 06:19 PM   #1
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I Shouldn't Have Asked For The Truth...

I talked to my aunt (dad's sister) and I havent talked to her since my dad died (10 years)... I blamed her for years for his death... only to find out there was nothing she couldve done.. I guess it was just easier blaming her...

She wants a relationship with me and I'm scared... 10 years ago that side of the family cut me and my brother from their lives.. I just don't know what to do.. I need my passport and shes the one that has it otherwise I prolly wouldn't have contacted her..

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Old 04-05-2012, 07:57 PM   #2
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it often is easier to lay the blame on someone. or maybe not easier, necessarily, but simpler. if there isn't someone to blame, things get much more complex. usually the case is that things are complex though. you may have to work through how you feel about his death again. you may feel worse for a while, but hopefully you'll come through to the other side, and be better off for it.

do you want to try to have a relationship with your aunt? it could start off very limited until you have a better feel for how it would go... this may be an opportunity to really expand the people who care about you...

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The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.

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Old 06-05-2012, 12:11 AM   #3
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Idk if I want to have a relationship w her. I think it would help by having a connection to my dad. but other than that I dont want anything to do with her.

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Old 06-05-2012, 10:28 AM   #4
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That sounds really difficult. I think when someone dies we all try and make sense out of the chaos that is left behind and sometimes that can lead to blame and anger at those we feel didn't 'do enough'. I wonder why she cut you and your brother off and if it was part of their grief reaction to avoid the pain by not having to be reminded of your dad? I understand that you would not want to have a relationship with her after all this time, I'm sure you have a bunch of anger and questions that need to be resolved first.

Do you have any other family to talk to all this about? May be you can take is slow, and figure out what you want and need along the way? I understand how that may be a painful thing to do though.

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