Contains sexual abuse - Internet bullying triggering all abuse memories *also bullying label needed*
This may be long winded so thank you in advance for reading this post.
I am currently a member of a depression group on facebook. I have found the group to be highly benifical to me over the years, however in the past few months everything that I have been posting has been reported to facebook for breaking rules. However, upon consultation with many people, including facebook themselves, my posts are not deemed to have been breaking any rules.
This has actually led to me not wanting to have a facebook account anymore as I feel highly victimised by someone who dare not admit to doing this to me. I feel like they don't like me, but won't admit to doing it so I can try to find out if I have actually done something to offend them. (As I know sometimes what I say and what people think I mean can be taken the wrong way). How am I supposed to sort something out if someone does this?
Several members of this group have struggled to support me but they all know how upset this is making me, although they do not know the reasons why.
I am struggling with the fact it is triggering memories of bulling that occured at primary and secondary school and all the memories around that. It is also triggering the memories of rape and sexual abuse. I have no idea why and how, but it does. It is also making me feel I need to stand up to people who have wronged me in the sense of reporting the sexual abuse, but it happened nearly three years ago so is there any point of dragging this up and making matters worse?
I've got to the point that I honestly do not know what to do. I am seriously contemplating just leaving the internet and running away from everything, which I kinda know is not a sensible option.
Not sure what I want from this, or if this even makes any sense to anyone.
I can somewhat understand how your feeling re bullying on the internet.
The fact that your not breaking rules and people in the group are still helping you means your probably not doing anything wrong.
It's a shame that the internet can be so anonymous so that people can do things like this. As you've looked into it on facebook and nothings been turfed out the woodwork, I don't really see what else you can do about it, my suggestion is to try and ignore it..maybe leave the group/facebook for a bit if it's causing so much distress? Hopefully this person will get bored. Sometimes walking away/not giving a reaction is the best solution to things like this.
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
I've now left the group to save myself the stress but I still feel like I have let them win by allowing it to affect me this much. I actually enjoyed being a member of that group so may return to it in a few months
Leaving the group is a shame and if you're the victim here then you shouldn't have had to. However, the fact is that the people around you are not helping you cope with this member and you have done the best that you can to cope with the situation. You have put your health first and left the group. Hopefully, in a month or so's time you will feel in a place to go back to the group - though if the person causes you hassle again, I would not tolerate it. Leaving isn't running away.
Can Facebook do anything to help the situation? They can be good like that sometimes.
As for the memories of previous abuse, do you think there is any way that you could find coping mechanisms for when you feel them coming on? Have you talked much about them in the past? Perhaps when they appear for you, you could write them down. That might make you feel a bit better and offload a bit?
Words are failing me this evening but I wanted to write a substantial reply <3.