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Old 13-04-2012, 10:06 AM   #1
youonlyliveonce
 
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finishing uni stress

hi i know i dont post here very often but i just wanted some support... im in my final 4 weeks at uni (3rd year sport an pe student) and basically having a meltdown with all the work i have left to do.


i cant see me completing it im overdosing nightly and binging and purging my way through my cupboards im currently sat in the library at uni wanting to just burst into tears i could give up right about now :(

please just some hugs and some nice words to help me get through this time im a bit desperate sorry for being pathetic :(



where did i go wrong i lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and i would of stayed with you all night had i known how to save a life.-the fray, how to save a life.

id rather hurt then not feel anything at all.

I could have held you in my arms forever, and it still wouldn't have been long enough

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Old 13-04-2012, 10:57 AM   #2
Tig
 
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Hey lovely,

You aren't being pathetic at all. I'm glad you have posted for the support because you deserve support & kind words.

I haven't been through uni so as I said in the BPD thread, I can't offer much constructive advice about that but I'm sure there will be many who read this thread who can really relate!

I'm sorry to hear that the overdosing and binging & purging has gotten so bad. Is there anyone you can speak to about that or anything that might help you feel a bit safer?

Sending lots of love,

xxx



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Old 13-04-2012, 11:01 AM   #3
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thanks tig... everyone goes through this so i should be able to cope. im five weeks behind everyone else ads i was in hosp over xmas so now everyone is completing im still only half way through i know i shouldnt compare to others but its hard...


i saw my cpn yest and basically his view on it and the hosp is to basically keep doing it if it makes it easier to study as that shud be my main priority i havent had much support since coming out as they dont want to do nething till ive finished uni so im sort of in the middle of nowhere and ive come back to uni to work and noone is around so im even more unsafe :(



where did i go wrong i lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and i would of stayed with you all night had i known how to save a life.-the fray, how to save a life.

id rather hurt then not feel anything at all.

I could have held you in my arms forever, and it still wouldn't have been long enough

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Old 15-04-2012, 02:07 PM   #4
PassedExpectations
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how have the last few days been?

i haven't been through uni yet, but am close to the end of highschool... for me, it is helpful to set a reasonable goal or two for each day to keep me on track, and then take it a day at a time. a few weeks can seem interminable when you look at them all together, but if i break it down into days, it actually goes pretty quickly.

try not to tell yourself "should" statements... they imply that you are at fault or need to be ashamed or guilty if you cant meet up to them. lots of people struggle with the end of uni... that doesn't mean that it is easy for you or for anyone... it just means that there are ALOT of people who can empathise and have ideas about how to get through!




this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.



PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)
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Old 15-04-2012, 03:48 PM   #5
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not great took an od fri night so sat i slept all day without realising... today been in the library day not getting too far so ive now come back to my room and trying to get bk to doing a lil bit :( just want to be able to see im getting somewhere if that makes sense.

yeh i keep being "told off" for using shoulds i do it all the time dbt tried to get it out of me but no such luck....

i really dont know how im gona do the next 4 weeks :( just wanna be dead



where did i go wrong i lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and i would of stayed with you all night had i known how to save a life.-the fray, how to save a life.

id rather hurt then not feel anything at all.

I could have held you in my arms forever, and it still wouldn't have been long enough

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Old 15-04-2012, 05:45 PM   #6
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Sweetheart, I'm so sorry you are struggling right now. I feel your pain - I'm six weeks away from starting finals and I am WAY behind everyone in terms of revision. But you just have to see it as "what steps can I put in place to make this easier?". Ideally not od-ing would mean that you'd have more time to study as your body wouldn't be fighting to keep on track, but I accept that realistically there is no way you are going ot be able to just stop your coping mechanism. Can you cut down the ODs slightly, either in intensity or by how much you are taking each time. Then your body won't need so long to recover and you'll have more revision time.

You need to pace yourself. Find something that you can do for 30-40 mins as breaks (mine is watching House). Maybe get a break from the library and use coffee shops or somewhere else to get a fresh slate and stop the horrible static strss that you inside uni libraries at this time of year. I find that the public library where I am is really nice and relaxed with lots of tables, so I often work there, because I can't stand the uni libraries.

Maybe set yourself a very detailed to do list, and then you can tick off each thing as you've done it?

I really feel your pain hun, and I wish I could make it all go away. I've just come back for term and I'm freaking. Just do what you can. Is your psych going to do a letter for mitigating circumstances? You should get that considering what you've been through. xxx



"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."


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Old 15-04-2012, 05:46 PM   #7
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maybe you could ask someone else/a few others in the course to study with you. small group studying can be very effective




this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.



PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)
Katie


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Old 16-04-2012, 12:32 PM   #8
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thanks for ur responses guys
im only able to work for about 5-10 mins then my concentration goes ive been trying to go for walks in between.

im trying not to od but finding it really hard i can sort of work through the sickness part of it though
once ive got this lit review into some structure ill be less stressed i think but meh who knows but i will write a list of all the things i got to do when i meet my mentor later as i text her during my melt down woops...

yeh ive got mitigating circumstances for my assignments get till august if i need it but i wanna graduate in july so clock is against me

i just wanna disappear i know its silly really as this is wat i signed up for but at the same time its not i just want to be a teacher is that so much to ask



where did i go wrong i lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and i would of stayed with you all night had i known how to save a life.-the fray, how to save a life.

id rather hurt then not feel anything at all.

I could have held you in my arms forever, and it still wouldn't have been long enough

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Old 16-04-2012, 11:25 PM   #9
PassedExpectations
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how do you learn best? for example, some people have a hard time focusing when reading a text and don't absorb much information, but will remember most everything if they watch a video about the same topic, or even just listen to the same text being read out loud




this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.



PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)
Katie


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Old 17-04-2012, 02:30 PM   #10
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i learn best by doing im a kinesthetic learner its not soo much learning the text its just doing the assignments ive got no exams thank goodness



where did i go wrong i lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and i would of stayed with you all night had i known how to save a life.-the fray, how to save a life.

id rather hurt then not feel anything at all.

I could have held you in my arms forever, and it still wouldn't have been long enough

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Old 17-04-2012, 04:37 PM   #11
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Hello sweetie, I'm sorry that you're struggling so much right now. Is there any way that you can speak to one of your tutors about this? They might be able to help you prioritise some of your work, so you can get the most important things done and out of the way first. It's important to pace yourself when it comes to work. I can understand how easy it is to just let it all build up in front of you, and to look at it as one huge mass of work that needs to be done. It's enough to set in panic, and isn't the healthy or beneficial way of dealing with it. Try to take things one step at a time. The way I try to deal with work, is to set myself targets. For example, if I'm looking through a difficult reading, I will underline certain paragraphs that I target myself to read through, and stop once I've reached the line. Then, I will have a break for 20 minutes or so, make a hot cup of tea and have time to myself.

At my uni, we have people who are there to support students through the work load if they are suffering with any kind of illness or personal issues. I know it's the last stretch of uni now, so you probably wouldn't be able to apply for DSA, however they may be able to sit down with you and help you work out a time table that suits your needs. Even if it's a case of sitting with you in the library to help you get some of the work done, it's a bonus. I've been advised before that getting up and doing something physical, even if it's just going for a walk, can help get you motivated to do some more work.

Try not to look at things in a daunting light, but remind yourself of all the mini achievements that you're making.





Just keep plodding onwards.

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Old 19-04-2012, 08:33 PM   #12
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yeh im trying to concentrate on one thing at a time but its so overwhelming.
yeh ive allready got a menotr shes lovely she knows wats going on.i get DSA too got a nice laptop out of it lol... i normallu play netball but its coming to the end of the season so games r limited.....

sorry took me so long to reply i wasnt ignoring u im having difficulty my cpn ewanted to put me in hosp today so im trying to avoid that i just wanna od and die everything is about me dying :( i wanna self destruct



where did i go wrong i lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and i would of stayed with you all night had i known how to save a life.-the fray, how to save a life.

id rather hurt then not feel anything at all.

I could have held you in my arms forever, and it still wouldn't have been long enough

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Old 20-04-2012, 09:32 PM   #13
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is neone around i could really do with some support :(



where did i go wrong i lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and i would of stayed with you all night had i known how to save a life.-the fray, how to save a life.

id rather hurt then not feel anything at all.

I could have held you in my arms forever, and it still wouldn't have been long enough

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Old 21-04-2012, 01:45 AM   #14
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Hey, I'm here if you're still around, otherwise you might find chat helpful (people are usually willing to support you in Room 4 if you need it).

What's going on today? Do you think you can call your CPN in the morning and talk to her about how you're feeling? I know uni is incredibly stressful, but you've done so well, and come so far, and I'm sure that you can get through the rest.




If you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?
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Old 21-04-2012, 10:50 AM   #15
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You are so close to the end now...pull on all the support you have an keep going



If you hear hoofbeats, think horses not zebras!

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Old 21-04-2012, 11:22 AM   #16
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sorry i finally cried myself to sleep unfortunatley my cpn doesnt work on the weekends and i dont know how he can help me so we are sort of hitting a brick wall.

i just feel like im not getting newhere and my head is screaming at me ive got my music on full blast to try and drown out the voices but its not working its soooo frustraiting and the crisis team here dont like me so its not like i can even go down to ane and get assessed even if i wanted to...


i dont think i can do it



where did i go wrong i lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and i would of stayed with you all night had i known how to save a life.-the fray, how to save a life.

id rather hurt then not feel anything at all.

I could have held you in my arms forever, and it still wouldn't have been long enough

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Old 21-04-2012, 12:45 PM   #17
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Would it help to tell you most people feel very similar to how you do now and get really overwhelmed by the stress around exam/essay handing in times? Is it helpful to know that you will not be the only one going through it even if it feels that way? That it is really hard at times. Does that give you some perspective/make you feel less alone?

Stress is very difficult to deal with and it sounds like you have found an 'outlet' through OD'ing. Some people find it through smoking or alcohol or cutting or eating...I think it is interesting that you CPN has said that if OD'ing helps you keep going for the moment then it is okay not to reduce it - that actually it might be safer for you to keep self medicating in this way under these circumstances. I kinda agree, it isn't ideal to soothe/help yourself this way but it sounds like now isn't the time to try an alternative. I'm sure you know exactly how you feel when you take the OD.

Bite size chunks sound like a good idea as well as breaking the working day into managable amounts. Do you know of anything that you like doing and makes you feel better? May be plan in some nice things to do to give you a bit of a break. And take it one day at a time.

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