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Old 13-04-2012, 06:07 PM   #1
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Graphic - PLEASE HELP ME!!! Hidden Trauma

So...i have a hidden trauma that i need to find, i don't know how to find it or where to start. It's always triggered during sex, mostly if I'm tired but lately me and my partners sex life is becoming more and more strangled by my problems.
1) The trauma causes me to panic and loose all pleasurable feelings during sex, dry up or completely withdraw inside
2) I can only have 1 orgasm, I know this isn't a big deal, but once I have 'gone' I don't want to be touched AT ALL so all sexual activity has to STOP because I don't want to touch or be touched.

Please help, I know it isn't all about sex but every time we try to make love, something goes wrong with me and it's making me blame myself and feel guilty so I get scared every time something could happen...

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Old 13-04-2012, 06:20 PM   #2
Join Date: May 2008

I think seeing your GP about a referral to a psychosexual therapist might be helpful. Not all recovery focuses on trying to find hidden trauma memories as that is not always helpful (if the brain has forgotten/blocked something out it's because it's not ready to remember). I don't (I hope!) think that recovery is dependent on remembering past events.

Although I imagine the therapist will be receptive to any concerns you have about past events, sometimes the most useful thing is to think about what's going on in the 'here and now' - feelings you have during sex/intimacy, and how to work with them, either by finding practical solutions or talking through upsetting difficulties.

I hope I've said that as sensitively as I can and that it makes sense. What I'm trying to say is that I believe you can get better without finding hidden traumas, and that sometimes trying to find memories that the brain doesn't have access to yet can be more frustrating and traumatising than just sticking with the 'present'. What's important is to find a good therapist whom you can be totally open and honest with about any concerns you have.

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Old 15-04-2012, 01:57 PM   #3
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i agree with all of what reappear said.... how are you doing?

this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.

PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)

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