Hey lovelies :)
I'm not sure if anyone here will remember me as it has been a long
time since i last posted on here!
Well, today is the day that i never thought i would see:
i've been discharged by my counselling team
After being with them for 2 years, i've been through a lot with them. Whilst it took a good 5 months or so at the beginning for me to even talk about general stuff, i can't believe how much i have achieved.
I've had a few blips, and one pretty bad relapse about 9 months ago, but now i'm coming out of the other end of the tunnel. In a way, i'm starting to think i needed such a hard fall to get myself to where I am right now. In the last year alone i've went from a suicidal, anxiety-ridden mess on the verge of sectioning to a (semi) confident student, about to get my degree and finally starting to live life the way it should be lived.
Five years and 3 counsellors later, i'm getting somewhere.
Although i still have to attend monthly weigh ins and check-ups with my GP, he is hopeful that he can start taking me off my anti-depressants within the next month or so.
For the first time in 7 years, i can actually say i'm beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin. I've accepted that i probably will struggle at different points of my life in regards to eating, i will not accept that anorexia will take hold of me again. Too much of my life has been taken by calories, anxiety, depression and fear...
I'm ready to live.
Despite being scared that i'm on my own for the first time in a long while, i'm excited to see what opportunities lie ahead of me now. I can finally see 'recovery' for what it actually means, and not the previously warped vision of it that i had in my head.
I am determined to stick at this. I don't want to go back to that person i was before. I can't. If i have a 'blip', i know i have the mental tools and strength to hopefully get me through it.
I will get my degree in 2 weeks time, go onto my honors and hopefully go onto to achieve my doctorate in clinical psychology...meaning i can help so many others who desperately need help.
I just want to say a MASSIVE
thank you to each and every single one of you here for helping me along the way. It means more than i can ever say.
Remember, Recovery is
J <3 x