I'm pleased that you wrote here, and that you were able to get how you're feeling out. It does sound like you're really quite worried about going home and the results of that. Is there anybody you could speak to about this? Or in any way put something in place to make it seem less scary?
I'm sorry you're struggling at the moment... Please try to be honest with those around you about how you are feeling.
I hope that going home goes as smoothly as possible.