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Old 22-03-2012, 10:43 PM   #1
zivalover16's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Boiceville NY
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feeling conscious about scars

I know this is my fault entirely but I've been having issues with scars lately.... It's not around everyone which is weird... My Scars are healed but some are obviously recent (from like a month ago). Lately I haven't really cared, I've been wearing dresses and shorts and tank tops due to warm weather. I didn't even really have a problem when I had to get stitches, then steri strips (the stitches didn't do their job completely), I wore short sleeves and said what happened when people asked (only 1 or 2 did). The first time it really bothered me was my first physical therapy appt. I'm going for my back but when he was evaluating me he noticed the scars are my leg and asked what happen (his tone was shocked) I said I have depression and left it at that. I felt awkward. Then lately the girl standing next to me in choir keeps staring at my arm. She doesn't stop or say anything. I know an easy solution would be to wear sleeves but with this weather I'm enjoying not having to although it's going to cool down soon...Sunday my college is doing a generations banquet (basically mother daughter lunch) and the choir is singing. For once they are allowing us to wear our own clothes and not the uniforms (unless someone wears something inappropriate) and I mentioned that I was wearing a long dress. The girl who deals with everything got this hesitant look on her face and said I'd prob be the only one. I told her that I was going to wear a long dress to cover some scars on my leg and showed her. She seemed taken aback for a moment before saying that we'd be wearing tights. I feel stupid for showing her and I don't want to stick out or for whatever reason make it so we have to where the uniforms but I like the long dress I have. I am just worried about causing trouble. There's also the thing that my mom is bringing a family friend who recently lost her husband and loves our family. I don't want to chance her seeing them and stockings tend to be a little see through...I know this is my fault and I shouldn't be complaining but I'm feeling down and stressed. I can't help but wonder what they think of me

Big Sister:Squiggles
Little Sister: PaintItBlack
Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz

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Old 23-03-2012, 08:22 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Uk
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First of all well done you, I wish I had the guts to wear short sleeves, I'm gonna give it a go this summer.

Have you told the girl organising it that you would be more comfortable in a long dress? Sometimes with these things we just have to be honest, and if it is a problem what about wearing dark tights?

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself
to the best others can do,
but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people,
It's what they do about it.
I've learned that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.
"I have learned" by Omer B washington

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Old 23-03-2012, 11:20 AM   #3
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I think I'm just going to wear the long dress because she never said no and it is appropriate... I wish I could go with dark tights but since even though we can wear our own dress we still have to put our hair up like we would for concerts, no nail polish, jewelry (except medical) and tattoos have to be covered. I just have causing any kind of problems

Big Sister:Squiggles
Little Sister: PaintItBlack
Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz

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Old 30-03-2012, 12:47 AM   #4
Join Date: Nov 2007
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hey. Twisted Illusions is right, well done you.

also i know how you feel... might not be helpful practically but yeah.

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Old 19-04-2012, 05:22 PM   #5
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You know, I used to be conscious about my scars and when folk asked me about them, I just told them 'it's nothing to worry about.'

It can take time to learn how to handle people's concern for you but never, NEVER ever be ashamed or self-conscious. They have not walked in your shoes or had your experiences.

These days I don't care who sees my scars: if asked, I sometimes tell others that I have a problem with SH (depends who they are tho!). I'd found myself hiding them so that others would be comfortable around me, but in doing so, I wasn't being true to how I like to dress. I like short sleeves, and short sleeves I wear.

The scars are part of who I am, where I am at the moment, and if others feel uncomfortable, well, tough. SH is something that very few people have an understanding of as we kinda 'go underground.' Instead of thinking about what suits other people, think about what YOU want - and you go for it. You are so much more than your scars - we all are.

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Old 21-04-2012, 11:47 AM   #6
.:Perfect IS Just A State Of Mind:.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Reading
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I know exactly how you feel, I always wear short sleeves on public but sometimes you just feel uncomfortable in some situations? I would just say to the lady that you would prefer to wear the long dress and you hope it doesn't cause too much of a problem. I've always found polite is key! X

I am weary and useless
My body has been beaten and broken by the storm
I need Your hands to carry me.
Because I don't know if I can make it home.

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Old 24-04-2012, 02:41 AM   #7
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I remember being this way in the beginning. I used to freak out when thinking about people seeing my scars..what they would they would treat me. But, slowly I became okay with my scars and decided that i didnt care what other people thought. It's my life and im not going through it ashamed of myself, my decisions, and my victory over my own demons.

It still comes up from time to time, as i do not try to hide my scars. I find that people are generally more accepting than I could have imagined. SI'ers are unfortunately a growing population and more people struggle with it or love people that struggle with it.

Nothing I say will help you. I wish you courage in your journey..and all my best wishes. :)

heaven's not a place you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive.

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