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Old 25-03-2012, 01:14 AM   #23241
Hollz
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Hope everyone has had a good day. Appreciate all comments made and respect everyones individual response and take everything said on board.

Mari - Hope you manage to get it sorted with your flatmate tomoz. Just take her aside and be straight with her. Can understand why it is getting to you so much. you have every right to be frustrated. Let me know how it goes with her tomoz.

Cheryl - best of luck with your netball match



Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys


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Old 25-03-2012, 01:51 AM   #23242
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Thanks everyone, sadly the paronoia has increased a bit more, but I know what triggered it so I'm hoping it will pass soon.

I saw my ex best friends husband today and it triggered a lot of memories of the friendship and how it was ruined and all that stuff.



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Old 25-03-2012, 02:04 AM   #23243
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This thread's so busy!
Sarah (?), thank you for your response. I have been potentially diagnosed with BPD because my emotions are very much unregulated and I self-harm. The guy who wants me diagnosed said that he has to make a diagnosis and it's the one I best fit, with the emotion thing and based on my behaviours. I am still really scared of the diagnosis though. I don't think my doctor wants to give it to me.

Also, well done on the month free!

Katy, love, we all think you're wonderful and awesome. I wouldn't have invited you to mine next week if I didn't think those things about you! I'm so glad that you're coming and I hope that it's a fun fun fun weekend and you enjoy yourself! :) I'm glad that you know what's triggered your paranoia and I do hope that it passes soon. At least you know it's paranoia, even if you believe it to be true. Hold onto that knowledge.



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Old 25-03-2012, 02:10 AM   #23244
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shine. View Post
Katy, love, we all think you're wonderful and awesome. I wouldn't have invited you to mine next week if I didn't think those things about you! I'm so glad that you're coming and I hope that it's a fun fun fun weekend and you enjoy yourself! :) I'm glad that you know what's triggered your paranoia and I do hope that it passes soon. At least you know it's paranoia, even if you believe it to be true. Hold onto that knowledge.
This is actually all that I am currently holding onto right now. Been arguing with my mum a lot recently too which doesnt help matters



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Old 25-03-2012, 02:12 AM   #23245
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I don't regularly post here but I have been a member of this thread for several years and read it almost everyday. I remember the incident all too well, not so much because I was personally involved in supporting you or anything but because I watched the crash that followed and the reaction from people O do care about. I agree with a lot of what Dash and ferretmonster have said. I also dot like the way some of your first message 'back' was written. Even though I was not involved your actions just confirmed a lot of suspicion and trust issues I was already having with people, furthermore it is the kind of horrific lies and manipulation you showed that just encourage the negative stereotypes and treatment of people with BPD. Having lost a parental figure i also was almost insulted that you could trivilise that pain by lying about it and manipulating to get attention! Post all you like, everyone has a right to post and when I reply then I will be civil but like Dash said... Trust has to be earned and regaining it when you have lost it is even more difficult. It will be a long time, if ever before I believe a word you say. I am glad you report things are improving for you though and I hope that continues. I accept and understand people act in characteristically when I'll but that does not excuse everything. I don't post much here anymore, like I said because the thread is not how it once was so I do not have as much right as more long term regular posters and I accept that but I still wanted to make my feelings known.

*leaves hugs and love for everyone who needs them*





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Old 25-03-2012, 02:13 AM   #23246
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Originally Posted by Doctor Colbertface View Post
This is actually all that I am currently holding onto right now. Been arguing with my mum a lot recently too which doesnt help matters
I did see your other thread about her comments, actually, and can understand why things are strained between you both. Try not to let it get to you, though! I shall see you in a week's time! Woo! Is there anything that you can do to help the situation?
*hugs and love and glitter*



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Old 25-03-2012, 02:16 AM   #23247
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Entertain me next weekend basically Belle! I'll be alright until then. I'm just trying to deal with the paranoia right now... which sleep might help with!



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Old 25-03-2012, 02:19 AM   #23248
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Yes, sleep may help with that! I think we should both have a go at getting some because otherwise we could be zombies tomorrow and that would be tragic... amusing but tragic. You shall be entertained next weekend, I shall make sure of it! :D



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Old 25-03-2012, 08:19 AM   #23249
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If im honest i hate that kind of attitude from people, i dont see what the point of getting help its if your not going to be honest and get the help in the first place. Whats the point asking for meds if you are only wanting them to overdose on?
Gee thanks, i asked her about meds because i keep going up and down, its in the down places where i wanna od so yes its a risk ( its always been a risk) but at the same time meds can reduce the desire too.I am sick of ending up in hospital on and IV line because ive overdosed, im sick of harming myself and needing to go to A&E, so having meds that help with the depressive patches/ irrational thoughts and impulsive behaviors would actually help me. I have meds to take as required and ive teken them as required in over a year ive not od'd on them.. ive od'd but not on them because i know they actually help when i remember too and am able to take them.







Keep your Chin Up
B
EAUTIFUL.



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Old 25-03-2012, 08:58 AM   #23250
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*leaves cuddles for Katy and everyone else*



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 25-03-2012, 11:20 AM   #23251
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How are you dash?



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 25-03-2012, 01:50 PM   #23252
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How is everyone? I am now Moved In so should be about more :) . Stressful times though , now to unpack............



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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Old 25-03-2012, 02:48 PM   #23253
Bleeding Angel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Days Gone Bye View Post
Gee thanks, i asked her about meds because i keep going up and down, its in the down places where i wanna od so yes its a risk ( its always been a risk) but at the same time meds can reduce the desire too.I am sick of ending up in hospital on and IV line because ive overdosed, im sick of harming myself and needing to go to A&E, so having meds that help with the depressive patches/ irrational thoughts and impulsive behaviors would actually help me. I have meds to take as required and ive teken them as required in over a year ive not od'd on them.. ive od'd but not on them because i know they actually help when i remember too and am able to take them.

In that case explain to her you feel med could help and as you feel you could be at an overdose risk to make it safe, if you could be prescribed weekly or daily instead of monthly. Im sorry but your first post did come across to me as you only wanted the pills to overdose on, so sorry if it offended you. I think you can ask but push for weekly so it seems like you are trying not to overdose on them and its a less of a risk. Or if there is anyone that can take your meds and keep them for you giving you one a day (like parents)


How the new flat mark?

How are you kat?

Thanks dash, i dont buy them as they are too expensive for me ha ha, as i can get the 2ltr ones for 1 and that does about 5 days. I just stuck a note on the fridge as every time i open that door i get so angry about it, its more the fact though they saw me come in and put it in the fridge, so it wouldnt have been too difficult to ask. How are you doing?





"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"


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Old 25-03-2012, 03:12 PM   #23254
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Have you managed to speak to them today Mari or you just sticking with note on the fridge?

Hope you are settling into your next flat okay Mark. Good luck with it.

Nice sunny day outside, hope everyone is having a good one. I'm going to have a wee walk outside in the sun before returning to uni work laters.



Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys


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Old 25-03-2012, 04:43 PM   #23255
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*Hugs Mari* My flat is lovely , Up on a hill (Wales so , yeah hehe) So I hope to get some excercise Boxes everywhere , My Hamster doesen't seem to have been affected in the move much. Now my stuff is in I can imagine where itll all go . It was hard whilst My family and I were decourating , It was Utterly unfurnished , no Carpet,Paint cracked and poorley done, even no plugs in the Bath, Basin and Kitchin Sink but It feels homey now. How are you Hun?

Thanks Hollz! Enjoy your walk.



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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Old 25-03-2012, 09:50 PM   #23256
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Hey everyone!

Mark - I'm glad you're settling in well to your new place!

I have a positive!! Even though things have been really bad for me in the past few days, and I have been feeling really depressed and/or suicidal. I haven't done ANYTHING! As in, I haven't harmed myself in anyway (Including drink/drugs/biting) And I haven't planned/attempted suicide! Normally in this situation I would.. but.. Wow, I'm actually really proud of myself!! Someone remind me of this feeling next time I get really low lol.
*Hugs to everyone*



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R.I.P Nan. Love you always.



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Old 26-03-2012, 05:51 AM   #23257
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That's great Lorraine! *hugs* I'm glad you've been able to find more healthy ways to deal with the things you've been struggling with and I hope you keep bringing more positive news like that in the future! :)

I'm glad the move went well Mark, and that you like your new flat. :) It does sound lovely!

How are you crazykat?

Sorry I don't have many words tonight, I'd like to write more but I have to go to sleep. I hope everyone is okay. x




I'd fly away to a higher place
to say words I resist, to float away, to sigh, to breathe... forget~


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Old 26-03-2012, 10:23 AM   #23258
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Thanks Reki. My healthy way of dealing with things has been, talking to my friends and crying my eyes out lol. Guess it's better than the alternative.

Dash - That's a good idea! I'll do that :D Cheers :D

Hope everyone's doing okay :D



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R.I.P Nan. Love you always.



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Old 26-03-2012, 11:04 AM   #23259
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Hey guys, just thought I'd let you all know that I'm off to hospital, I don't know how long I'll be there so that's why I may not post for a while, everyone take care and sending my love. xxxxxx



In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.






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Old 26-03-2012, 11:20 AM   #23260
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*Hugs Sarah* I Hope Hospital Helps you Hun.

*Hugs Lorainne , Thats FAB News , Well done you!

*Hugs Dash* That's a brill idea!

*Hugs Reki* I hope are sleeping / have slept well.



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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