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Old 06-03-2010, 04:34 PM   #1
aragog
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gender confusion.... help

im born a girl, but i feel like a guy trapped inside. its so frustrating, i only really hang out with guys, and i feel so comfortable just having a beer and joking around. any one got any help to give im so frustrated.

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Old 06-03-2010, 04:45 PM   #2
Hollz
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I feel like that sometimes. I always wanted to be a boy, loved football, getting dirty etc etc, I suppose I am still very tom boyish, i dont wear skirts or dresses and my mum thinks im a footy hooligan, I just love football you know, go and see my team and I have a lot of guy mates.

I have come to realise though that liking these things and havinh guy mates is okay, and it doesnt mean you need to be a guy, I now know I am just a girl who enjoys mainly the same things as other guys, I aint gay but I am happy being somewhat of a 'ladette' - but thats just me.



Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
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Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys


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Old 06-03-2010, 04:50 PM   #3
aragog
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i see what you mean. its been like this since i was a kid, i hate every aspect of being a girl. when i started periods i got so angry, it was like hard proof that i was never going to be a guy.

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Old 06-03-2010, 07:15 PM   #4
sherlock holmes
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Have you seen a psychiatrist about it? It could be gender dysphoria and they may have ways of helping you, either to manage with the feelings or even go as far as a sex change.





I'm laughing, I'm crying, Sherlock is dying.
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Old 06-03-2010, 08:07 PM   #5
Ami
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If you unhappy about the way you're feeling you should talk to someone, and like control freak said, they could help you deal with the feelings etc.

Would being a male make your life and feelings better?
Would you be happy with wearing male clothes/changing name etc but without having operation or testosterone?
Or would you rather learn to cope with the feelings and thoughts without actually physically altering your body?

Sorry to be nosey, was just wanting a bit more info to see how we can help or what advice to suggest :)
xx





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Old 06-03-2010, 09:19 PM   #6
Minotaur
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This was how I started out my journey too: by feeling dysphoric about being treated like a girl, when I knew I was a guy deep down inside. I went back and forth for a while, contemplating my feelings. I tried to force myself to become feminine (and I was a complete fake the whole time I was acting like a girl), I tried being just a butch lesbian, tried all sorts of different female identities, but none of them quite felt 'right'.

I'm now 19 years old and have been on testosteone for 6 weeks. I'm saving up for surgery too.

Feel free to PM me if you want anyone who truly understands to talk to. Also, I would recommend one of two things:
1. getting in touch with the trans community on YouTube - there are plently of videos on there by people like us, who talk about all these kinds of issues
2. taking a look at this website: http://www.queeryouth.org.uk/communi...php?act=SF&f=8

The more info you have about a subject, the better equipped you are to deal with it.


Take care, buddy.



Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
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Old 06-03-2010, 10:37 PM   #7
aragog
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ami -
im not sure still. im sixteen, always felt like a guy. so far im doing ok, i wear guys clothes and people say i act so much like a bloke, but they have no idea really. sometime in the future i probably would like a sex change, but its a big decision, i want to think it through.
im matt, by the way :)

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Old 07-03-2010, 02:30 PM   #8
Ami
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Hiya matt :)

Yeah it would probably be useful if you could learn to deal with the feelings in a positive and in a way that suits you.

if you're not sure on surgery yet, like you said its a very big decision, so could you see a therapist or someone who specialises in gender related problems?

I dont think its necessary to be labeled as either a male OR female, as people can consider themselves intergender/ "gender-queer" as well.

take care xx





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Old 07-03-2010, 02:55 PM   #9
frenchhorn
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Hi Matt

I'm a female to male transsexual and started out feeling like you, a guy trapped in a female body. It certainly is a big decision, but you don't have to rush into anything, you can talk to your doctor or a counsellor and talk things through, even when beginning the process, you dont have to rush into having hormones or surgery, if that is what you want. Many trans people only change their name and dress in the gender they identify as, while many have hormones and surgery and many just hormones or just surgery, its completely up to you, there is no set things you have to do, everyone is different.

Like angel of music said, queer youth network is a great place, I'm on there, same username. Also try going to a trans group, I see your in London, there is a group called gendered intelligence, www.genderedintelligence.co.uk I dont know where abouts in London, but I found that going to a trans group was one of the best things I ever did, it was a place I could fit in and could be who I wanted to be. Also maybe try finding a local LGBT youth group.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat about anything, I know its scary going through this all.

Take care
Oliver



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Old 07-03-2010, 06:51 PM   #10
aragog
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thanks

thanks guy, all this is so helpful. good to know others understand. ami i think it was you who said, im glad i dont have to be male OR female, sometimes i feel inbetween, sometimes i feel completely guy. its so confusing, but all this has made things slightly clearer, thank you

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Old 07-03-2010, 07:40 PM   #11
aragog
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thanks, ill make a promise to go for it some day :) this is all quite scary for me, ive always known about part of me being male, but this is the first time its come outside my head.

social constructs- fed up with them, been fake for years, being who i want to be now :)

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Old 15-03-2010, 08:14 PM   #12
Per Ardua ad Astra
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I'm a bit out of the loop in the forums at the moment so excuse me for just finding this thread.

I'm also Female to Male, the group "Gendered Intelligence" Oliver (hope you don't mind me calling you by your first name) is on about I actually attend/volunteer with them, so if you really want to go I'm happy to give you information and even if you want meet on the days of the group and show you where it is. I know Finn who runs it really well too.

Also QYN (Queer Youth Network) is fantastic to get advice and meet new people.
I've been out for about 4 years now and on T for 2 I also have videos on You tube, so feel free to pm any time you want to ask about anything trans-related.

Josh.





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