Weirdly she phoned just as I had finished tying my shoes to go out to carry out my plan. I still don't know if she really heard how horrific things are right now though. She wanted to put daily support in place and talk to my psych about meds but I can't travel to the CMHT and I genuinely don't feel like I can cope much longer at home. She is going to see if there is a bed on the ward and phone me back but I don't know if she really understands the seriousness of things. I doubt there will be a bed, it's January. She said I can do this. I don't want to.
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