There is absolutely NO WAY I can confess my feelings for her now! It would mean I’ve been lying to her the past few months. It would mean all those times I told her what a good friend she is that deep down I was desiring more. It would mean her questioning my intentions of every good deed I’ve ever done for her. It would seriously be a risk! It would, at the very least, alter our friendship if not end it. I can’t risk that! If I am going to stay alive, I simply cannot live in a world without her friendship!
Losing her, even though I don’t have the relationship that I really want, is simply not an option if I’m going to live.