Feeling too old for this
I haven't posted here before as I last posted in about 2013 when I was younger and felt okay posting in the other busier forums but I'm not sure it would be the same now as I'm likely to be a decade older than most posters.
So it's been over 3 years away and in that time things generally improved, I invested in therapy and my career. Sadly as is with the nature of depression it's a recurring illness and so such a time has arisen where by I am no longer in control of my illness.
I have fallen back quite considerably in the state of my mental health and find that even at my age I still actively self harm. I've had prolonged periods without harm but as things deteriorated I moved back to self harm as a form of coping.
Sadly it's become very difficult to keep functioning and despite great support from my therapist I've had a very hard time getting help from my doctors which has resulted in the prolonged struggle.
I find self harm has been my comfort and saviours during this period and I found myself thinking how after over a decade of doing this to myself I suddenly feel too old for it. It's still tiring and hard, it's draining me as much as it helps me and I've reached a point where I just felt like sharing my woes and so I find myself here tonight sharing with you vets.
I apologise if this is wrongly posted