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FAQ.
Is bullying the same as abuse?
Abuse applies to harmful or improper treatment of something, and when used on this board applies to the body by another persons hand. Bullying therefore is a form of abuse and describes a form of harassment by someone who is in some form more powerful, either physically or socially, than their victimised peer.
So to remove all the fancy words... Yes it is the same thing.
How do I support a friend that has been abused?
Firstly and most importantly, every person is different. I think what you need to remember is that they are still your friend. On the most basic level you need to be there, listen to them, let them open up in their own time and don't force them to talk before they are ready.
Take time to read up, there are millions of websites that cover all aspects of abuse with basic information to personal accounts. This will allow you to get some perspective on the situation and also may answer some of your questions.
Finally remember that you need to be able to get support also, your friend is going through a very emotional time, and this will effect you. You need to be able to vent out what your feeling and take care of yourself as much as you take care of them.
I'm new, and too shy to start opening up. What can I do?
There is no time limit of opening up! Take your time and have a look around the board. There is loads of information open to you without having to ask (if you scroll down you find plenty of links to great articles).
Maybe poke your nose into the Coffee Shop which is a totally none triggering environment where people can chat about day to day issues and generally have fun. Come in say hello and become acquainted with the regular faces :)
I personally think we have the most friendly members of ryl on this board, and I am sure you could drop them a PM if your still feeling nervous. We are all happy to help out a newbie.
Just take your time. We don't bite!
Was I raped?
Rape is sexual intercourse that you did NOT consent to. To consent you have to clearly be saying yes, willingly participating and at no point feeling "forced" into sex. If you are drunk/drugged (by choice or not) and unable to clearly state your consent this can also be seen as rape. Please remember at all times and with anyone be it stranger, partner or acquaintance No Means No.
Is it still serious if it's done by children?
Age is utterly irrelevant when it comes to abuse. Children (under 16's) can be seen as more vicious in terms of bullying and when it comes to physical strength a child attacking another child can cause as much damage as an adult attacking another.
Regardless of the age of the abuser the emotional effect is the same and therefore you deserve as much support as anyone else.
Does it cause other illnesses/conditions?
Yes it can. Common conditions related to abuse are Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and flashbacks.
All of which are not to be ignored and need to be treated along side your recovery after abuse as they will all be very interlinked.
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