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Old 24-03-2020, 09:31 PM   #2225
one_step_closer
The Shadow of the Day
 
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland

The white noise helps a bit but I can't use it much because of my tinnitus. My pharmacy is all masked up and it's 2 customers in at a time, it's scary.

My CPN is fine on the phone just not me really. I've tried to write some prompts for tomorrow. If I needed crisis support I'd have to phone Duty or the informal crisis team if either of them were still within working hours and they can only do phone support. My CPN is going to be off for 4 days starting from Thursday I think so I'll have to wait a while before she can phone me again. My key worker isn't allowing me to just have email contact with her, she wants me to talk to her on the phone and this is all so stressful. I am grateful for the contact but she has access to her email and I wish she would tailor things individually.

I'm really, really not coping. I'm very suicidal and also lonely. I feel like my MH problems are getting worse and there's nothing that can be done. I want to self harm but don't go ahead with it. I have some extra meds because I have been cutting down the X but I'm worried that if I took them I might need to go to hospital and I can't be doing that. I took a PRN dose last night and I didn't even have a good sleep. This is torture. I'm sick of having to deal with my mental health problems and then all this virus stuff on top of them makes them ??? I don't know what the word is because things were hanging on unbearable before. I think I should just kill myself. This is not a life, not ever, not even if we beat this virus and get back to normality.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


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