This doesn't feel like it should be in serious but I'm not sure it fits anywhere else.
What do you do when you're fed up? Fed up of life itself. Everyone says its a symptom of the illness but I'm not ill. I'm just fed up. Nothing good or fun lasts for more than an hour or so. I often go for more than 24 hours without speaking out loud.
My body is failing and everyone just expects me to deal with it. The lead specialist told me to work less and do tai chi. Easy for him to say on his enormous salary. My GP is giving me random blood tests because I refused to leave until he did something. And no one gets how hard it is to do a job where I have to be precise with my hands when I can't feel my fingers properly and my hands shake uncontrollably at times. When walking up the stairs is like climbing everest.
I'm waiting for them to apply for funding for private therapy, then I will have to wait for a decision. I've been waiting weeks and they haven't even applied for it yet. I'm just expected to cope and carry on in the mean time.
I spent 9 months in a therapeutic community last year, was discharged to virtually nothing and started full time work 3 days later.
My parents just expect me to keep going.
And so does everyone and I'm fed up. I'm so so fed up. I'm sick of being expoected to just cope all the time.
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