My Mum Found Out...
My best friend was over. He'd been up a while, but I was sleeping in, cause I'm lazy.
I wake up, and about 30 minutes later in and starts talking to me. I'm in my nightclothes, and don't realise that my sleeve is rolled up a little too much.
"Where did those scratches come from?" she asks.
CRAP CRAP CRAP! What the bejesus do I say!? (I didn't even realise that my arm had scarred. But apparently it has.)
Fortunately, my friend Dan jumps up in a flash, and makes some excuse about ferrets for me. My Mum takes the excuse and just wanders off.
Problem is, my Mum is like me. And I know damn well, if someone gave me a stupid excuse, I would react exactly the same. Knowing it wasn't true. But completely accepting it.
But yes, I'm really worrying about my Mum knowing, but fortunately for me, Dan and I were travelling back to his that afternoon and my Mum wouldn't want to bring it up in front of him. So I'm going to be 237 miles out of my Mum's way for four whole days!
Four days later, I make my way home. And after five hours of travelling, I meet Mum at work. Walking home, she just bursts out with "Now, Shauna, those scratches on your arm...have you harmed yourself"
CRAP CRAP CRAP!! No Dan to help me this time. I couldn't do anything but tell the truth. (At least she's had a few days for it to sink in, right?) I had a hoody on, so I didn't have to see the disappointment in her face. She sounded like she was going to cry, but I don't think she did.
She promised to get me help and everything.
Although, she only saw one or two light scars. I don't think she realises that it's a little more than scratching myself, and that it's a very regular thing.
It feels so wrong with her knowing. She hasn't really mentioned it since.
But still, I just feel so ashamed.
Sorry for the long post. I'm guessing my Mum reacted quite well compared to most? Still one of the most horrible moments of my life though.
Thankyou for reading.