Thanks for your reply. I emailed a local charity that provides short term support for people who are suicidal and I've to meet someone tomorrow. I saw my CPN and she said she'll phone me when she's back from her holiday in 3 weeks time and move my appointment forward. I'm trying so hard to stay safe but my suicidal feelings get stronger at different points in the day and at those points I feel impulsive and like I have to end everything asap. Even if I try to tell myself that the feeling will pass because it has before I either can't imagine it happening or I think that there's no point fighting because the feelings will just come back strongly again and again if I stay alive.
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