Is there any community support you reach out too? have you seen your CPN yet?
I hear how desperate you are feeling today, how is your day looking? You say distractions aren't working today, can ask what you have tried, we might be able to think of some other things.
I can relate to the struggling to get out of bed getting the day off to a bad start that you feel you can't recover the day. Mornings are often my worse part of the day too. One thing that I find helpful is to put no expectations on myself in the morning. If it takes me 3 hours to get out of bed, it takes me 3 hours to get out of bed. I then start to set myself small challenges like staying in bed but making sure I'm sat up and not lying down. Or lying on the bed not in the bed. Then moving from the bed to the sofa. I try to think about how long it takes me to start to feel human and then set that as the time after which I have to do something - getting dressed, doing something low key and useful and build the day from there.
I appreciate that baby steps feels so hopelessly slow and small achievements feel insignificant but we need the small wins to give us those small lifts that allows us to do the things that feel more like achievements.
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