Hey Beckie. Sending good thoughts your way. I think you should try to trust their judgement at the moment.
I know the clozapine isn't your ideal answer to any of this and it is annoying having to rely on medication. For example (and sorry to use this as an example, I'm not meaning to compare but just trying to make a point of sorts), my entire hand luggage was a backpack of medication to keep me alive for two weeks while I'm away. I know that it is different medication to yours but if that's what is needed to keep you and I safe and alive then there sometimes has to be a degree of acceptance. I would love things to be different so do understand where you're coming from and although the meds aren't the same thing exactly, they are just as inconvenient and annoying.
I'm sorry if that's an unfair comparison but just wanted to say it. Just want you to be ok.