getin worse..triggering? i dont know..
im writin this drunk so sorry for the spelling.
ive harmed every day in the past week. i am drinking tonight which does not agre with me at all.
i wish i had no kids co s then i could just end it
i wish i wasnt so much a pussy so i couold cut properly not this retarded superficial ****
i wish i could just deal with life like everyone else an get a job an not be suck a fuc kup
im tryin to get a mathsqualification an bein drunk isnt good for homework an god knows how im gonna do gettin up for it tomorrrow morning. 6-7 hours of sleep to remove half a bottle of bourbon. when you are a pussy lightweight like me that not enough
thats not bad just stupid
i miss my kids (they live half the week her,e half with their mother) but i dont want them here cos then i cant harm an harming is all i feel like i have anymore
im so ****ing lonely but i dont anyone other than my ex but shes a ****ING LESBIam so no chance of that happening again.
i tried talkin to other people but there i sliterally noone. noone ot txt or on facebook or anywherer. wtf am i supposed to do.
maybe ill be lucky an i wont wake up tomorrow, i ****ing hope i wont. yeah, my kids will be sad but selfish as it sounds i wont see it an it will be over an they will be better ooff without a father whpo cant even get a job or take them out somewhere cos if anxietty.
said some stuff i shouldnt have on FB but i dont even care. no i kinda do buit i doint know what to do.
i want to not wake up
im so drunk an not that drunk compared to some people sure but for me who is usually teetotal im wasted.
i just want to die. there is nothing other than my kids an they dont need
soime useless waste of life as a father.
i tried the chat room but i cant follow itan i dont know anyone.
i dont know what to do. i have no job, no belief i can get a job.i dont believe in god but i fi did id be praying i dont wake up in the morning. but ui have kids n i cant **** them up. i have to keep going,. just a bit longer.