[jessmarie123]

Thank you all for your advice, but I feel like a bit of a lost cause. After 2 years of recovery, I shouldn't be screwing up like this. I'm trying to reach out for help, but it's not helping. I'm feeling really alone and don't know what to do. I can't accept the weight that I'm at. I'm so ashamed of myself. I feel vain, but I guess I still factor my weight in my self worth. At this point, I'm scared to eat. I logically know that I need to eat, especially with 6 hours of cheerleading tonight, but I'm afraid that I'll overeat and i feel dead-set on losing weight. I'm so tired and lost and confused.