[MissAnonymous]

As much as I understand let downs, please remain optimistic about the prospect of DBT, if its available in your area outpatient, then there is a chance, you might be on a waiting list, but you'll hopefully get a shot at it.

As for the hospital experiance, sadly, it sounds like most acute adult wards that I have had experiance of, no structure, a lack of enthusiasm of the staff, and very empty days. Acute wards from my experiance tend to be just a holding place for people waiting for meds to kick in or people needing a short crisis break. I firmly believe most people with severe self harm just crave it more if put in this empty non-therapeutic environment.

As for the psychologist visiting weekly, that sounds like a promising plan. If you don't find the CPN helpful, maybe you could see the psychologist alone and check in with the CPN every other week or something. Some people are not helpful, some are. It varies SO SO much, I know.

I think DBT might be really beneficial. If you have a smart phone/iPhone you can get a DBT app that walks you through the skills and keeps a track of the ones that help and the ones that you have used and when. I don't know how to get it, but I know it exists. There is also a DBT self help website that has a lot of resources on it. Maybe try and read through some of it.

The fact you want to keep trying and refrain from SH is the most important thing. Where ever you go, unless its a full on secure unit, you will be able to sneak things in and harm, or find a way to get round barriers. Your best resource to stop yourself is you. Build yourself up, think of your life skills as a tool box, and the more tools you have the more you can fix and hold together, even if its just for a bit longer. Every little bit, every day, is a day you have won, in the bag, a testiment to your hard work.

I think you can beat this, I really do. PM anytime to chat, <3