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Old 22-01-2020, 12:55 PM   #3
Mike_Drave's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Mid Wales
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Whilst I understand that Xmas has passed for another year, I suspect the issues still remain with your family. Many people have these same issues of course.

A very long time acquaintance of mine was bemoaning issues with his elderly mother who was 'toxic' when in his home with himself and his wife.

He is the same age as myself and this was when he was around 50 yr old. Personally I found it a little bizarre, he is a quite major business owner, he has many staff, he has a beautiful home ... and yet here he is moaning about his toxic mother at 50yr old.

So I asked him a simple question ... "So how old does one have to be before being allowed to decide whom is welcome in ones home?"

The point is that just because we happened to have been born into a family, that does not mean we like them or wish to be near them. There maybe social moralistic lore, but there is no law we have to like our family.

Personally I put up with my mother my whole life until my father passed away, because I had much time for my father. Once he died, I had a brief conversation with my mother which went ....

"You mostly do not like what I do, I mostly do not like what you do ... so let us stop pretending otherwise and just stop talking"

So we did. She was/is (?) not happy about it but that is not my issue, that is her issue. At the same time I stopped talking to my elder siblings whom I cannot not abide either.

Now people can say "Oh you must be odd! Ungrateful! An awful person!!" ... Maybe and so what? If I am then why would they want to talk to me anyway?

Myself I am extremely happy without these people in my life. My wife barely talks to her mother and ignores her sibling .... Again, the father died and that was that for her.

We are incredibly happy, my wife and I; but we simply do not suffer people in our lives who we do not like; no matter their title/connection.

My acquaintance stopped his mother visiting. Then thanked me for the peace which had suddenly descended in his life.

One's life belongs only to oneself ... None of us owe anyone anything by sheer birth.

So do what makes you happy and they can do the same; unless it involves you without your permission.

On any form of social media, no matter where we reside on life's great food chain; we are all exposed to the thoughts of people whom we would never interact with in physical life

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